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Tarkers

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Tarkers last won the day on August 21 2016

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About Tarkers

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  1. Tarkers

    Annual cull of PON users

    I have no wish to post on a forum, where an 18 year-old can "amend" my contributions......sorry, but I have principles ps....I'm not even sure that what happened is even legal.......but actually, I don't care
  2. Tarkers

    Annual cull of PON users

    I have no idea what this means, Jimmy, breaking bad....Saul? I understood the first bit where you congratulate a MOD on changing my actual words.....I am not sure that what this site has done is actually legal, but hey-ho, it was only one word that you allowed to be changed....so who cares? So if I say that Trump is an idiot...I could "punch" him?................you are allowed to change that to "ass***inate" him? (my asterisks....because you do know that almost all internet conversations are tracked and stored somewhere?) If you did that, I'm pretty sure the CIA/FBI/Homeland Security would be landing helicopters on my lawn outside! You obviously don't seem to understand how serious this is?
  3. Tarkers

    Annual cull of PON users

    @ohstanleyaborah.....so a moderator can alter my words?.......without telling me, or anyone else.....wow, I genuinely didn't know that......actually it's pretty scary! So over on MAD, Ray is threatening to take someone to court over something that the person typed.......what if he didn't type it?.....but a MOD altered his words......I am genuinely confused.
  4. Tarkers

    Annual cull of PON users

    OK.....just popped in to hide from the absurd temps again outside..............I was running another 45 metres of goat and sheep fencing, and chopping cactus as I went.....I got a bit dizzy, spotted the temps were over 35 degrees C in the shade....plus my pint glass was empty..............anyway, I digress again, oops. I have just re-read my original post.....and someone has altered my wording.......honestly! Can you (whoever you are?), actually do that? I honestly don't mind....if it makes my posts funnier or wittier......but I seriously don't think I've used the word "pooping" since I was about 4 years old? I'm damn sure I typed the word "sh***ing" Am I going mad....possibly sunstroke?
  5. Mark Cooper has recently identified the reason for our sporadic run of results.......niggling knocks picked up in training. To combat this problem, he has instructed all players to attend training......coated in bubble-wrap! After today's training, Mark was quoted as saying: "Things got off to a poor start, when two of the players turned up in shrink-wrap! They obviously didn't read the e-mail correctly....or they're just plain stupid, I'm not too sure" Both players were sent home again, with Mark saying ................................"They were both past their sell-by date anyway" One of the other issues was the players inner-thighs sticking together as they ran! Again Mark resolved the issue by greasing them up with a mixture of WD40 and cooking lard! "That resolved the issue, but there was a curious aroma of chips cooking in a motorcycle workshop......it actually made me quite peckish" said the smiling manager. There was only one reported injury during the session......when Izale McClod sustained 3rd degree burns. Mark said "It's his fault. I've told him to stop throwing himself to the floor in the penalty area, but no....he never listens." "On his 19th attempt at perfecting his "dying swan" impression, the plastic bubble-wrap caught fire due to friction........actually it is the fastest I've seen him move, as he sprinted for a fire extinguisher" "I think I'll set fire to him during the next home game" said a serious-looking Cooper
  6. Tarkers

    Annual cull of PON users

    Don't worry, you're safe........your last post registered 6.3 on Tarkers Clapometer.
  7. Tarkers

    Bringing success to Notts County

    I'm not being nasty or picky.....you have lots of interesting points, but I have to read many of your posts two or three times to understand them. You appear to put all your points together in the same sentence? If you talk, the same as you type....I'm surprised you don't faint from Cerebral Hypoxia.................I almost fainted , just by reading it! So........my free punctuation service. I have restructured your post so everyone can read it! (I prefer the use of ellipsis to indicate periods of intentional silence.............like that?) Here goes: "Balmy has some talent somewhere, and I'd suggest Arsene Wenger rated him very highly by wanting to bring him to Arsenal.......... as did Spurs, and also Milan. I'd trust Wenger's judgement, maybe he is just too idle ...............or hangs about in the wrong crowd? Drissa always looked a little too light-weight for me, and overrated......... as for Cooper, I think Swindon fans should be grateful.......after all, he didn't have an amazing budget, but he got you to a play-off final! Didn't he get you the likes of Nathan Byrne, who you made a profit from of between £2 to £3 million, if I'm not mistaken?........ and my mate is a Wolves fan, and they think he is crap! Every manager makes mistakes,................. no manager brings in 11 perfect players, unless you're Barcelona or Real Madrid. For me, Cooper has an understanding of what we need and don't need................and if he's backed, I feel he will deliver again. Lastly, Jeremy Balmy, despite been overrated always seems to find a new club or get trials etc......... Brighton and Leeds were just a few, and I don't think he ever offered us anything when I saw him play! Maybe he is laughing his talent away?" Not perfect...............but at least I understand it now......don't you agree? ps............ I'm not doing it ever again, this was a once-only service...........that took me 15 minutes to untangle your original post!
  8. @notts-joe has given me the job of culling some of the PON members......now before you get upset at my new role, allow me to explain. This site uses up a lot of resources, and 606 users is simply too great a number, especially if you are not bothering to post anything. Lots of people have signed up, most with pretty boring user-names, just to avail themselves of the free PON t-shirt and 4 cans of Double Diamond offer. Some people have only made 1 post....just to introduce themselves.....here is an example from the archives: "My name is Fred. I have been a Notts fan since 1975 but I don't attend matches. I work in Asda and sit in my room on the computer every night".......BORING, the saddo's only post!! This is the kind of PON user that will be culled,......... just like those deer in Wollaton Park, moping around all day, stealing valuable grass and pooping on the paths. So.....you have been warned.....start posting NOW, and make it interesting or else. Next week I will seeing if things have improved Then I'm moving onto the problem of Lurkers not signing in......you will be traced via your IP address, mark my words, and will be receiving a visit from my good friend "ball-crusher" Thanks @notts-joe for the chance to prove myself......I won't let you down
  9. Tarkers

    Takeover Latest

  10. Tarkers

    Takeover Latest

    Putin would be interesting.....the guy has some serious clout!!
  11. Tarkers

    Welcome to PON

    If you make 10 posts, you get a free banana.............I'll swap you for an orange? Ignore me.....I'm mad......wibble wibble wibble
  12. Tarkers

    "Bacon is good for me!"

    Amazing how many fat people there is in the US......one day with me, killing and gutting chickens instead of driving to Walmart for his nuggets, and he will be asking for fruit and veg instead....hahaha
  13. Tarkers

    o/t Spring Equinox

    I hate to say "I told you so", but the May 1st situation on Arctic Sea Ice (interactive graph attached) is literally incredible.....May 1st is an important date in as much as the Arctic is now in "full melt" mode, having had it's first full month of sunshine, and we all know that World temps are rising rapidly. https://ads.nipr.ac.jp/vishop/vishop-extent.html By hovering the mouse over the red line May 1st date we find this....1980s average 13.97 million, falling to 13.48 in the 1990s and 13.1 in the 2000s.......and today 2016?? 12.195......that is literally stunning........12.2 million is a loss of 1.8 million just since my first child was born and almost 1 million ahead of the record low year of 2012!! The whole point is that THERE IS ONLY BETWEEN 3 AND 4 MILLION SQ MILES OF ICE LEFT AT THE END OF THE SEASON!! ie......we only have between 3 and 4 million to "play with" before we are ice-free in the Summer......big business are literally wetting their pants at the thought of all the money they can save by sending World Shipping by a faster route to Asia It looks like we didn't need the Suez Canal after all. On this German colour-coded map of the Arctic, you can zoom in to see the ice thicknesses.....updated daily at 6am your time. http://www.iup.uni-bremen.de:8084/amsr2/arctic_AMSR2_nic.png
  14. Tarkers

    Takeover Latest

    Couldn't agree more. All this anti-Trew stuff started after yet another rookie manager was appointed. If we have Coops in charge plus the spine of a decent team, GK, 2 decent backs, 2 creative midfielders and 1 Hughsey-type striker, then quite frankly I don't care who "owns" Notts whether it be Mr and Mrs T, Donald Trump or Donald Duck.....if it's the latter, I bet we see a boost in Children's Season tickets....quack quack.
  15. Tarkers

    Colditz Meadow Lane

    If the Republican Party were serious about upsetting his Presidential campaign, why have they not found a powerful, credible alternative? Surely with the vast funding that could be mustered, they could out-spend Trump who is using mostly his own cash....I am starting to wonder if they actually want Trump to win after all. My main concern, being just south of the border, is his verbal attacks on Mexico. Building a new wall, sending back illegals, stopping US investment down here.......it's almost like talk of war, albeit an Economic War. When people talk about "illegals" they don't understand that vast areas of the South-West USA, were actually Mexican up until the US-Mexican war and are still Spanish-speaking. When Mexicans cannot get visas to visit friends and family there, or go looking for work picking Californian fruit, they cross illegally because they have always historically done it. I'm not saying it's right....but has anyone checked to see what the US farmers think about a ban on Mexican labour

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