I remember one time  the wife and I took the kids to our local Zoo, and we were in the retile house when I saw this woman and she was only trying to pet this massive Salt Water Crocodile. What are you doing? I asked That's a Man Eater ! She pulled her hand away Do you mean he'd eat me whole? Well he'd probably spit that out but it will eat the rest of you.

I was on a course which meant I had to spend time away from home and I rang up the wife and said I wish I had you here in bed with me, kissing cuddling exploring each other's bodies. She said Who's that speaking?

My mate Bernie who is a confirmed Batchelor still lives at home with his Mum. His Mum is 95 and not to steady on her feet, so being the Good Son he is, every morning Bernie carries her down stairs into the kitchen, so she can make him his breakfast.

Sitting in a pub with the wife I couldn't help noticing the lines on her face. She saw me looking What's up? She asked Nothing much it's just I've noticed those crow's feet around your eyes. I'll have you know they're laughter lines. No Sweetheart. Nothing's That Funny.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Poem

A Blackbird sat upon my window how sweetly he did sing, 

He song told of the end of Winter and the coming of Spring

I threw back my bed clothes and tip toed from my bed

Gently I closed the window and crushed the noisy bleeders head.