Two young women approach a Scotsman who's wearing a kilt. Excuse me asks one, Is anything worn under the Kilt? No everything is in perfect working order

My mate as French ancestry he was telling me that one of his French ancestors invented Gravy. You must have heard about the Count of Monte Bisto.

This chap was on stage when he suddenly slipped and fell into the orchestra Pit and went Harp over Oboe.

I  once went out with a girl who was very posh, How Posh? Well put it this way she'd get out of the bath to have a wee.

Edited March 23, 20241 yr by Wheelbarrow repair man

 

 

A little Polar Bear cub goes up to his Mum and asks I am a Polar Bear aren't I Mum? I'm not a Black Bear or a Brown Bear or even a Grizzly Bear, I am a Polar Bear? Of course you're your a Polar Bear dear. Why do you ask? Well it's just that I'm Bloody Freezing!! 

Same little Polar Bear Cub was having great fun with a Seal Pup, sliding on the ice, throwing snowballs at each other, building a snow den laughing having a good time Suddenly the Polar Bear Cub's Mum turns up and says How many times Have I told you Stop Playing With Your Food.

How to catch a Polar Bear. First dig a big hole in the Ice. Then put frozen peas all around the hole. Because Polar Bears love Frozen peas (little known fact). Now wait and when the Polar Bear comes down for a Pea, you then sneak up behind it and Kick It In The Ice Hole.

 

 

 

 

 

The wife reckons I've got the body of a God. She must mean Buddha.

Yes you to could have a body like mine. If your Not Careful.

I'm a sex symbol for women who don't care.

My mate put a small ad in the paper it read. Fat Bloke seeks Super Model with Sense of Humour.