There was this Chap and his wife who enjoyed Walking Holidays and Rambling around the countryside. One day they came to the top of a hill and in the valley below was an Old Deserted Farm. So they went down to investigate. As they looked around the Chap said I remember this place we've been here before. Are you sure says his wife? Yes says her Husband we made Love up against that fence.

His Wife looks over and says Yes you're right. How about we make Love against that fence again for Old Times Sake? Suggests the Husband. Alright then replies his wife. So they get down to it and the Wife is wriggling and jiggling  and when they finish. The Husband says

Blimey You weren't ' like that the first time. I know replies his Wife, But the First time the Fence Wasn't Electrified.

Edited April 16, 20241 yr by Wheelbarrow repair man

 

 

 

 

Two lawyers I know, one is Pro Bono while the other thinks he's a proper idiot.

I once met the Edge at an airport and after he'd  signed my autograph book and had his picture taken with me I said It was nice to meet you he replied Yeah You Too.

I went to the Doctors for an examination, he told me Don't eat anything Fatty. What like Chips Bacon Crisps? No he said don't eat Anything   Fatty.

Did you hear about the Cow which jumped over a Barb Wire Fence? It was Udder destruction.

 

 

 

 

I left my job at the helium gas Factory. I will not be Spoken to in that Tone.

Is my wife disappointed with my body. A Small part of me says Yes.

While working at Waterstones a man came in, and asked Do you have an audio book with subtitles. I thought hold on a minute that's a book.

Then there was the Guy who crossed a sheep with a Kangaroo and got a Wooley jumper.

 

 

 

 

 

 

While visiting a friend in Hospital a man in his pyjamas ran past me, followed by a Nurse carrying a large saucepan full of boiling water. When a Doctor shouted No Nurse I said prick his boil.

Then there was the time I was messing about on the river on a friends narrow boat, when I heard a chap in a rowing boat screamed at his wife Martha I said grab hold of the Rowlocks.

I once walked past this factory which had a big sign outside  which said Murphy's Tool Works. I thought so does mine, but I don't Go around bragging about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

True Story

Back in the 1960's there was a Cooking programme on the BBC which featured the Cook Fanny Cradock and her husband Johnny.

Each week Fanny would cook something and at the end of the live TV show a chap would come on and ask views if they would like the Recipe for that weeks meal here is the address they needed to write too.

One week Fanny cooked doughnuts and at the end off the show the Guy came on and said If you want  your Doughnut's to be like Fanny's......

I would have liked to have seen them.

Edited April 20, 20241 yr by Wheelbarrow repair man