There's a Couple of Brothers I know who have a Prize Bull and they hire out the Bull to service Cows all over the Country  and they make thousands of Pounds at it.

Anyway I met them in the Pub the other week looking a bit worried What's up Lads ? I asked.

It's the Bull it's got a problem like blokes who have Brewers droop. So we've had to get the Vet in. £500 it's cost for these special pills.

Well a few days later  I was back in the Pub chatting to the Landlord. I asked him about the Brother's Bull. Did the Pills cure the  Bulls Problem?

Oh aye says the Landlord the Boys gave the Bull four tablets and that very afternoon it goes out and services 27 cows.

27 Cows I said I wonder what's in them pills?

I don't know replied the Landlord But They Taste Of Peppermint.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A neighbour of mine who's not the sharpest Knife in the draw and me were stood talking at his Garden gate, when a Lorry load of Turf went past.

I wish I was rich enough to send my Grass away to be cut, he said.

How about the Red Indian Chief who died after drinking 57 cups of PG Tips. They found him lying in his own Tea Pee

My  Family Tree only goes back 3 Generations my Grandad was a Lumber Jack.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then there was this Chap who had a little Jack Russell Dog. 

He took that Dog with him everywhere he went. He even took the Dog Hand Gliding with him,

What he'd do was have a sling tied between his ankles and tie the Dog in the Sling and off they'd Go.

And as they floated around in the Sky Bird Poo would be the least of a Car Owners Worries.

 

I remember one time a girlfriend and I were walking along the edge of a Farmers field, it was Harvest time so all the Hay had been stacked. I said to her 

Do you Fancy a Roll in the Hay? Yeah Ok she said. 

We dug our way into the Hay stack and things started to get passionate, she pushed me backwards when Suddenly I got an agonising pain in my left Buttock. I yelled in pain. What's the matter? she asked I told her my problem.

Roll over and let me have a look she ordered. I did as she told me.

Blimey how unlucky Can You Get? You've got a Big Needle Stuck In Your Bum Cheek.