Anyway I was out in the Garden yesterday, filling up the bird feeder, when my next door neighbour Vicky pokes her head over the Fence and says

I see you've got Fat Balls.

Bloody hell, I thought she's been peeping again.

A mate of mine used to be in the T.A. they trained and drilled like the Regular Army.

Anyway one day the Regiment had to have a medical. They were all lined up naked, when the Medical Officer came in.

He went up to the chap next to my mate and said.

You're Not very big down there are you Soldier.

To which the chap replied We're only going to fight them aren't we Sir?

Then there was the time a Sergeant Major approached a young Lady of the Night.

Excuse me my dear, but how much for the pleasure of my company this evening?

£50 was the reply.

The Sergeant turn round and yelled Company Quick March.

I was talking to a neighbour the other day Stan, he's just celebrated his 80th Birthday. He told me he hates getting old.

Every time he sees a Bright Light, he starts walking towards it. Plus he keeps forgetting stuff, the other he couldn't find

his wallet wouldn't you know, he'd forgot his Trousers.