This Chap buys a Budgie.

Can it Talk? asks his Mate. 

No says the Budgies Owner

Well you have to  encourage it. Buy it a Swing  a Ladder and a Bell. Budgies like all that stuff.

The Budgie's owner's Mate comes back a Couple of days later. Is the Budgie Talking?

NO

I forgot to say last time. Buy the Budgie a Mirror. It'll think it's Reflection is another Budgie ,

and it'll start talking to it.

A week later the Guy returns and asks Is the Budgie Talking ?

It's Dead, says the owner. But it did say one word before it died.

What?

FOOD.

A chap walks into a Pet Shop and says to the Lass behind the Counter.

Excuse Me but do you Sell Rabbits?

Why Yes we do. Replies the Assistant.

She picks up a Rabbit and Says

Look at this one a Beautiful Long White Coat, Lovely Long Ears, Adorable Pink Eyes.

I Don't care what it Looks like States the Chap It's For My Snake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do pigeons watch the weather?

To get the feather forecast 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did you hear about the Dyslexic Pimp ?

Bought himself  a Warehouse.

My Mate is 18 stone  and it takes him hours to get to my place.

Mind You there's a McDonald's and 2 Greggs between his House and Mine.

Terrible News another Mate and his long Term Girlfriend have Split Up.

She said he thinks more of his Puzzle Books than he did her.

Which is true 15 years they were together and Never a Cross Word.