I'll tell you something my Gaffer at work is living proof Snow White and Dopey did have S EX.

Red Sky at Night. Light of Shorter wave lengths is being dissipated by Water Vapour and Atmospheric Dust. Red Sky in the Morning  Same

A friend of mine was telling  me that he and his Missus had had a Fairy Tale Wedding. Really? Yeah Grim. 

 

I went into a shop and asked if they Sold Rat Poison. The woman behind the counter said they didn't .Have you tried Boots. I replied I Don't Want To Kick Them To Death.

I lent a Mate £10,000 for plastic surgery on his face. Now I can't recognize him to get me money back.

Me and a couple of friends were in Caffe we got our meals then the Waiter asked did we wont Salt? Yes please said one mate. The Waiter pulls out a Salt cellar from his left hand pocket and sprinkles it over our meals. Would you like Pepper? asked the Waiter . Yes Please said my other Mate. The waiter took a Pepper Pot out of his right hand pocket and sprinkled it over our meals. I looked at my Friends and said What ever you do Don't Ask For Vinegar.

I remember when I was young I'd go out sowing my Wild Oats. Then the following morning  I'd be praying for a Crop Failure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you ever get one of those days when you just can't be bothered? The Wife said to me go outside and see if it's raining. I replied Call the Dog in and see if it's Wet.

I've got a mate who is very unlucky. He bought a Jelly Fish and it Set.

Jumping to conclusions, is the only exercise the Wife gets.

I bought some Rat Poison and asked the shop assistant what do I do with it? She replied You put it round the Rat's hole. I said if I could get that close I'd Hit it with a Brick.