I bought a Chameleon    Lost it.

I once took a dehumidifier in to a Sauna, just to see which one would win.

I pulled up in a layby and there was a sign which said No Dumping. 

I was Ok I only wanted a wee.

I thought P.P.I was something you got if you didn't wear goggles, at the Swimming Baths.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On a visit to the Doctor's I was informed don't eat anything Fatty.

What like Chips Pies Crips ? I asked

No said the Doc .Don't eat anything     Fatty!!

My Mate thinks he's a Chocolate Orange. I'm worried he might be sectioned.

Poor Terry.

I remember one time  before me and the wife were married we were snogging 

on the Settee and she looked at me and said Do you want to take this into the Bedroom.

I said Ok you grab the other end.

A Mate of mine lost his job as a Zoo Keeper. Which he thought was very unfair.

Throughout the Zoo there were signs everywhere saying

Do Not Feed The Animals.

So He Didn't.