I was talking to my next door but one neighbour Bill, he's 76 and as just got himself a New Girlfriend.

Morning Bill I said How are you and your New Girlfriend getting on?

Oh we Split Up he replied.

I'm Sorry, What Happened?

Well it turns out she's got Multiple Personalities. And You Know Me, I'm Hopeless With Names.

 

    Chatting to my mate Dave we talking about old Girlfriends. He told me one of his Old Girlfriend's wanted him to spank her.

Why ? asked Dave

Because I'm into discipline was her reply

But Dave said he didn't Spank her, he made stand in a Corner then gave her a Hundred Lines instead.

Three New Websites for  the single Over Sixties Person,

I Don't Wont To Die Alone .Com

Shingles Only

And Carbon Dating. Com

When You Meet The Love Of Your Life In Your 70's You Don't Have To Worry About Meeting Their Parents.

 

 

 

 

I bumped into my next door but one neighbour Bill the other day, he's just come back after a moths Holiday in America.

How was your Holiday Bill, I asked him?

Marvelous the family and me we had a Great Time.

That's nice I said.

Mind you I did have a bit of an Embarrassing Moment.

Oh?

Yeah I got talking to this Irish American Guy and I asked So where you from?

And he said My Mammy.

Now I'm slightly deaf, and I thought he said Miami.

Oh I said I've Been There.

 

 

My next door but Neighbour Bill as just Celebrated his 77th Birthday.

77 Bill that's a Good Age I said.

Yeah but getting Older does have a Unique Problem.

Really?

Yeah, Every time I see a Bright Light, I Start Walking Towards It.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I came across the Mother-in-Law the other night, in the Pub Drunk as a Skunk.

Lying in a Pool of of spilled Gin and Brit Vic Orange.

Six Big Blokes were kicking her and Punching her

Did you Help ask my Neighbour?

No I said Six should be Enough.

Quote

 

 

 

Talking to Bill my 77 year old next door but one neighbour the other day he said

I'm going to get my First Tattoo

What you getting Bill? I asked.

I'm Not Really Sure. Barbwire, a Skull, My Home Address.

 

 

I Have A Step Ladder.

My Real Ladder Left When I Was Three.

The Olympic Rowers Sir Steve Redgrave and Sir Mathew Pinsent

Walk into a Hotel. Sir Steve goes up to the Lady in Reception and asks

Do You Have A Room For A Couple Of Knights?