Not posted a joke for ages

4everapie · June 7, 2014

So here goes

To hangmen were have a race to see who could hang the most criminals....someone asked which one is winning.....reply was..... It's neck and neck.

come on at least it's clean

An inspector was going round a lunatic asylum, and saw a man dangling from a light bulb socket, and a man underneath chopping sticks...whats he dangling there for he asks the nurse....nurse says....he thinks he is a light bulb...cant you take him down...nurse says....what and let the man chop sticks in the dark.

A day trip trip from the lunatic asylum and they stopped off at the pub for a drink on the way back. The driver says to landlord...they are not violent and will not cause any trouble, but they will give you anything that's round to pay for their drinks, if you make a note of how much the bill is, and I will settle it before we leave...ok said the landlord. they were there for an hour, and the driver said...have they been ok....yes says landlord, no trouble at all and please call again, but they gave me buttons, washers, as you said. Right said the driver...how much do I owe you...120.00 said the landlord...driver...have you got change for a dustbin lid