Jump to content

Tarquins Top Tips


Tarkers
 Share

Recommended Posts

As some may know....I am a bit of an oddball....I live alone in a 16 bedroom ex-hotel up on the Mexican Altiplano, 4,500 above sea level.....I have built high block walls to the front and side, 10 foot steel gates with spikes guard the driveway, barbed wire fences guard the rear fields................I talk to myself (plus my sheep and goats).......this forum may keep me sane...mmmmmm

Being new to the site, I thought I would have a bit of fun by sharing a Top Tip every week.....every Tip is true, I promise.

Tip One - How Not To Get Kidnapped.

If you read the news, people go missing here all the time. Two Aussie surfers went missing on the Pacific coast a few weeks ago in Sinola....I think their bodies have now been found.

43 student teachers went missing off a bus that was stopped by "police"?

Just a few months ago, four people went missing here from the local town......body parts have been found, with the usual notes attached claiming responsibility.

Nobody really knows the total numbers because the press rarely report all the incidents......10,000 a year?.....20,000?

Firstly, obviously try not to go out too often....and never at night after 10pm.

Stick to main roads, Pemex Stations have forecourt cameras, most big restaurants have cameras (good idea to check before selecting it as your Favourite), my bank here has double security doors so that the camera can get pics before the second door opens, make sure you leave a "camera trail" for the authorities to follow.

Never carry too much money, no rings, no watches.......I let my hair grow shaggy, stop shaving occasionally......wear ripped soiled jeans.....my personal favorite is mumble to yourself while passing "spotters", sometimes I hum a poor rendition of Dambusters and put on a slight limp or stagger.

Lastly, I carry plastic bags and occasionally stop to collect plastic bottles and assorted rubbish like a hobo.

So far it has worked....coming up for 3 years in April and still have all my fingers and toes......if I suddenly stop posting....please have a whip-round..... hahaha

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, notts-joe said:

Ah, you've made me even more impatient about waiting for Narcos season 2 now (for which I should also point the finger at @hissingdwarf).

If you should happen to stop posting, hopefully it's due to being busy. :P

Ps. I bet you have some amazing scenery there though.

The Bridge......based on true incidents on the border between Mexico and USA and loosely based on Chapo Guzman.....26 episodes...completely addictive right from the opening scenes....superb haunting music....some of the episodes are plain scary whilst one scene made me howl with laughter (an American uses "The Narco Tunnel" to smuggle his own drugs and bumps into Chapo Guzman dragging a body back the other way.....hilarious....."Good Evening" was all Chapo said.....I was gritting my teeth waiting for the blood to start)

Episode 1

http://www.primewire.ag/external.php?title=The+Bridge+%28US%29&url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5wcm9tcHRmaWxlLmNvbS9sLzFDOTlCQUVBQUItNjYxM0Q5NzlBNw==&domain=cHJvbXB0ZmlsZS5jb20=&loggedin=0

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, notts-joe said:

Ah, you've made me even more impatient about waiting for Narcos season 2 now (for which I should also point the finger at @hissingdwarf).

If you should happen to stop posting, hopefully it's due to being busy. :P

Ps. I bet you have some amazing scenery there though.

Always blaming someone else @notts-joe.

 

It seems to me with all the not shaving, wearing strange clothes, mumbling to yourself etc... @notts-joe you would fit right in!!!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, notts-joe said:
4 hours ago, notts-joe said:

Ah, you've made me even more impatient about waiting for Narcos season 2 now (for which I should also point the finger at @hissingdwarf).

If you should happen to stop posting, hopefully it's due to being busy. :P

Ps. I bet you have some amazing scenery there though.

Ah, you've made me even more impatient about waiting for Narcos season 2 now (for which I should also point the finger at @hissingdwarf).

If you should happen to stop posting, hopefully it's due to being busy. :P

Ps. I bet you have some amazing scenery there though.

I took this pic back in May 2013....the land is dead, the soil is a white alkaline-type called Calcite or Caliche.....I have 10 acres of it....grrrr

Total rainfall about 16 inches per year.

986cmc.jpg

This next pic is the same 1 acre field from last week......"mob grazed" it with 4 sheep , 5 goats and 12 chickens.......no water for over a month now here but masses and masses of free manure.....they get let in at 10am and shut out at 5pm, 365 days a year.....only another 9 acres to sort out now I have got the hang of it......hard work putting all the fences up on my own.....but I love it

2h2jed2.jpg

Edited by tarquinbeech
new pic from last week
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, tarquinbeech said:

Still here......I read the site every day but I don't log on unless I have something intelligent to say....hahaha

One thing I will say, being a "new boy", is how impressed I am with the site.....it has taken me a while to figure out my way around but I am slowly getting the hang of it!

Out of interest, as a new boy as you put it, @tarquinbeech What would make it easier to navigate the site? We often forget how the site will work and look to newbies so it'll be interesting to hear how you have transitioned from 'beyond the gates of hell aka mad' to here!

Things such as what you found difficult to find, go back to, easier ways to find things you use etc...all good points if you wouldn't mind, don't you think @notts-joe?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

About PON

Pride of Nottingham

Pride of Nottingham is an independent fansite devoted to Notts County, the world’s oldest professional football club. Created in 2013, it has served as a source of Magpie news, features, match previews, reports, analysis and interviews for more than three years.

Support PON

Enjoy our content? Want to help us grow? Your donation will go a long way towards improving the site!

donate-pon.png

Meet the Team

Chris Chris Administrators
ARLukomski ARLukomski Administrators
KB1862 KB1862 Global Moderators
CliftonMagpie CliftonMagpie Global Moderators
super_ram super_ram Media

Social Media

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Pride of Nottingham uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. To approve, simply continue using the site or click 'I accept' Terms of Use.