Air To Ground Traffic Control Conversation

[Fan of Big Tone]

The following extracts are from reports submitted by australian pilots to the aircraft ground crew following each trip to alert ground crew to possible problems. entries marked P are from the pilot and entries marked S are from the ground crew.

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced.

P: Test flight OK, auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back order.

P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspect crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed in cockpit.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

[super_ram]

Hilarious, Tony.Thanks for sharing.

[Chris]

LOL...

Nice share Tony! Couple had be in almost stitches!! hehe