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Why is it that whenever things start looking vaguely positive for Notts County, the universe immediately slams the panic button? You’d think supporting the Magpies would come with a health warning by now. We’ve had 11 new arrivals, Curtis Edwards politely ushered out to Gateshead, Jack Hinchy turning up on loan market, and the midfield reinforced with what looks like a group discount at the “young loanee” section of the Football League. So far, so standard. But then the real curveball: Director of Football Roberto Gagliardi has left the club. By “mutual consent”, naturally, which in football-speak usually means “please go away quietly and don’t touch anything on your way out”. This all lands just five months after he arrived, complete with a fancy job title that started as “Head of Football” before someone decided “Director” sounded more important. The actual implication was simple: Martin Paterson runs the matchday show, while Gagliardi shuffles papers and pretends the loan market isn’t an elaborate version of speed dating. On paper, his CV looked sturdy enough: experience at Göztepe in Turkey, Portsmouth, and enough buzzwords about “wealth of experience” to fill a LinkedIn profile. But he was following Richard Montague, who had the annoying habit of actually signing players who fit the club’s style. Gagliardi, by contrast, seemed addicted to the loan system like a teenager hoarding free Spotify trials. What’s odd is how quickly he’s gone. This wasn’t some random stranger off the street; the Reedtz brothers knew him, worked with him, vouched for him. It should have been a neat fit. Instead, we’re left with the usual fanbase speculation buffet: did the Reedtz lose faith? Was it politics? Or did everyone simply realise, far too late, that it wasn’t working? He himself had said he wanted to work for people he believed in, praising the Reedtz for their patience and lack of emotion in decision-making. Which is a bit awkward now, since he’s lasted about as long as a Love Island couple after the cameras stop rolling. The timing doesn’t help either. Notts have started the season in a way best described as “patchy”. Pre-season included a jolly jaunt to Germany that, in hindsight, probably would’ve been more useful if spent in Nottingham making the players run up hills. Transfer targets may have slipped through the cracks, hence the sudden panic-buying of loans. The matches have been a mixed bag too. Newport looked promising but unlucky. Salford reminded us we can still be bullied. Barrow was like watching a balloon slowly deflate. Beating Shrewsbury 4-1 should’ve been a highlight, but felt more like we’d been gifted goals by a team that couldn’t pass water. Bromley was disappointing for entirely new reasons. And then, just when despair set in, wins against Tranmere and Fleetwood arrived, suggesting the squad is finally capable of lasting an entire 90 minutes without collapsing. Meanwhile, the Jatta saga added a touch of absurdity: ruled out with a “back spasm” one week, then reappearing after the club triggered a contract extension the next. Convenient timing, that. So yes, it feels like a transition period. Criticism of the Reedtz might be harsh, but there’s no denying that right now the whole thing feels like watching someone try to solve a Rubik’s Cube with oven gloves on. My focus, like everyone else’s, will always be on the pitch. But you can’t ignore the sense that behind the scenes, something isn’t quite clicking.

It's been a while since I wrote a blog; for me, the personal ones were aimed at a release, while the insightful ones about PON were more about behind-the-scenes information and updates. In fact, I am writing this as I go along, which will hopefully end up less like a random ramble but more like a case of reminding myself where I was. I have spent a lot of time reflecting, thinking about how differently I would have gone about things, given what I know now. You do make mistakes, but you have to own them and move forward. I know some might think dwelling on things isn't healthy, but for someone who suffers greatly from mental health issues, it's the one useful way to get a real sense of perspective on things. To say I care about Notts, I think it's obvious to anyone who knows me. There are times when I think of how passionate my grandfather Ray was about Notts, and how useful he would be to a site like this. He really was a walking encyclopedia on Notts. Name a game, and he would tell you the score, attendance, date, and all that information. I think he would have also been a huge asset when I think of things I have done wrong. Saying that, it's not like I have ever shot someone, but to say I wasn't prepared when I did get the vision right. I think I started with too much, too soon, for example. My initial vision was to share cherished memories and articles inspired by the insights of fans in the front end and just be a general forum. Yet, it can become addictive to add things, and, reflecting, it could be confusing for a lot of people who aren't used to it. I have spoken before about the first time I saw a fan browsing PON at Meadow Lane, and how that gave me encouragement along with a buzz. I used to get it when members joined, but with so many never really doing anything over time, it just became less expected. I don't want the wrong impression given here; it's like if you open a store and have people come in but never really purchase anything. The exhilaration of your first sale and the thrill of acquiring your fifth active customer can quickly become commonplace. I don't take members for granted, but my point about people joining only to disappear really used to baffle me. Back in the day, I used to email regular content out in newsletters, but those got few hits, and I think it became a little annoying. When these do return, it will be for those who want them, and I have learned a lot more about what makes people excited to read content. That's the thing I have learned the most: you pick things up, and over time, if you keep working on it, you get better. I learned a lot from Joe Jones's time working alongside me, and fans frequently say how they feel I am undervalued, but he was a real driving force in shaping PON. Then again, those who, for whatever reason, decide to be awkward towards me try to claim I make the site about me when, in fact, I try my hardest to make the community feel valued. It's been a long journey for me: 20 years in visioning the concept, 15 in working on it productively, and 13 in trying to get it right. That's a chunk of my life, and I still sometimes feel I am no different than when I started, but that is just my negative thoughts taking over. Fact is, I have grown as a person immensely from being very shy to more reserved but able to communicate in person. I have picked up, improved, and learned so many skills, and all have been worthwhile. Having my family's support, my father, and my dearly missed mum, who was a common talking point amongst my friends on match day. My children and wife. All have played their roles in encouraging me, helping me, and making the site what it is. Credit can't be taken by one person alone; it's a community effort, and my only goal these days is to bring value to people. Do what I enjoy most, make the most of what I can while I can, and by the end of it. I know I can be proud and feel like my grandfather Ray and my mother would be, too. Sentimental ending?I am not leaving it there. While my time as of this week has mostly been spent on overcoming an illness, it has given me time to think about things. There are some exciting things that I think regular and active members will enjoy. My friend @True Magpie, is working hard on bringing some positive changes in terms of help guides which I will be chipping in with myself. I also aim to add a new cetegory to my blog, where I digest my thoughts on Notts games. I used to struggle with match reports, I hated the idea of writing them because I would always want to add my thoughts. Give a reflection based on what went wrong, but never really understanding how to write what happened. Each paragraph used to be an headache, I wrapped my head around it's basically telling a story of how the game unfolded and the focus is to openly construstive to both teams. Exhibit honesty without any bias or embellishment.