Wheelbarrow repair man

I Enjoy History and Just lately I've Started Looking At My Family History. It's Amazing What you find out about your Ancestors. My Great Grandad got his First Job, When He Was 10 Tears Old. He was a Wringer Out, For A One Armed Window Cleaner.

The Wife comes in from shopping the other day Look what I've bought she says. Flashing a Ring with a Large stone in it. What's that ? I asked That's a Mood Ring. So what happens is when she's in a Good Mood the Stone turns Blue When she's in a Relaxed Mood the Stone turns Green But when She's in Bad Mood. It leaves a Big Red Mark in the Middle of me Forehead.

The Pennines are called the Backbone of Britain, So We All Know What That Makes London.

You Do Realise That Due To The Shirts Appearance The Notts Players Will Now Have To Learn The Hakka !!????

Connell Rawlinson HE'S ONE OF OUR OWN.

Do you remember those Animal shaped Biscuits? Chocolate on one side and an Animal on the other. It said on the Packet Do Not Eat If Seal Is Broken. I opened the packet up and Wouldn't You Know It The Seal Was Ok, it was the Giraffe that was Broken So I Scoffed The Lot.

The thing about the Nest is that it's Never been fully explained what happens to the place when there's No Premier Events taking place E.G the Euro's . Will Notts Fans still have to pay a Fiver to stand or a Tenner to sit down on Match Day? If so it's going to drive a lot of Families away, No Cash payments may also be a cause for concern. So once the Euro's are finished hopefully the Club will make a Statement detailing what is going to happen at the Nest what events are planned etc, but most important what it's going to Cost the Ordinary Fan.

@CliftonMagpie I totally Agree with you regarding your points about the Nest. It should be a Place were Notts Fans can come together to support the Team. It's Sold Out Screams the Headline. However what happens when the Euro's Finish? Or when the Novelty wares off and the Honeymoon Period Finishes? and it's just down to Notts Fans to keep the place going? I told a Mate of mine who is a Regular at the Navigation, it costs him £3 a pint for his favourite Beer , that means he can have three beers and some change out of a Tenner he'll have to pay to sit down in the Nest. The Club also Missed A Huge Opportunity to connect more with the Magpies faithful. Why didn't they run a couple of Competitions regarding Naming The Fan Zone? Plus they could have asked Fans to Design the Logo for the Nest Have different Age groups all the Winning Designs could have been Framed and hung in the Nest and the Ultimate Winner their Design would be placed outside at the Nest Front. And I'm Pretty sure it would have cost a lot less than the Hiring of a Graphic Artist who designed the Monstrosity which Now Welcomes Fans.

@liampie I Always thought Jonathan Forte Got A Raw Deal at Notts. He should have played more and I think if he'd had gotten a Decent Run in the Side, he would have scored many more Goals. He's Retired Now I Believe Through Injury.

Did you hear about the Dyslexic Pimp ? Bought himself a Warehouse. My Mate is 18 stone and it takes him hours to get to my place. Mind You there's a McDonald's and 2 Greggs between his House and Mine. Terrible News another Mate and his long Term Girlfriend have Split Up. She said he thinks more of his Puzzle Books than he did her. Which is true 15 years they were together and Never a Cross Word.

Didn't he move to a Scottish Club, when he Left Notts ? Thought he did Ok at the Lane.

A chap walks into a Pet Shop and says to the Lass behind the Counter. Excuse Me but do you Sell Rabbits? Why Yes we do. Replies the Assistant. She picks up a Rabbit and Says Look at this one a Beautiful Long White Coat, Lovely Long Ears, Adorable Pink Eyes. I Don't care what it Looks like States the Chap It's For My Snake.

This Chap buys a Budgie. Can it Talk? asks his Mate. No says the Budgies Owner Well you have to encourage it. Buy it a Swing a Ladder and a Bell. Budgies like all that stuff. The Budgie's owner's Mate comes back a Couple of days later. Is the Budgie Talking? NO I forgot to say last time. Buy the Budgie a Mirror. It'll think it's Reflection is another Budgie , and it'll start talking to it. A week later the Guy returns and asks Is the Budgie Talking ? It's Dead, says the owner. But it did say one word before it died. What? FOOD.

There were these two W.R.E.N.S who had gotten a Weekend Pass, They had to be back at their Base by Midnight on the Sunday. Unfortunately they got back at a Quarter past 12. What we going to do now Trace? asked the first WREN Well we'll have to Climb the Wall and Crawl over the Barb Wire that runs along the top. So Tracey gives her mate Sharon a bunk Up Grabbing the top of the wall Sharon starts to crawl under the Barb Wire. Here Trace, I feel like a Commando. So Do I replies Tracey. But were are we going to get a Commando at this time in the Morning?

Do you remember that Talent Show on the Tele, Stars In Their Eyes ? Well my Uncle Percy went on that Programme And who are you going to be? asked Mathew Kelly Tonight Mathew, I'm going to be Glen Miller Then he went through the Smoke and we haven't Seen Him Since.

When Her Late Majesty Queen Elizabeth II opened Buckingham Palace to the Public for the first time, my Mate Dave and his Missus went down for a visit. While on a Guided Tour they stopped to Admire a couple of Painting and other items the turned and found themselves alone, the Tour had moved off with out them. They wondered around and got Completely Lost. Then a Chap in a Naval Uniform ( yes I wondered) came through out of a nearby room and asked Are You Lost? I'm afraid so replied Dave Not to worry said the Naval Gent. Simply go to the end of this corridor turn left and the second exit along will bring you back to the Tour. Thanks Very Much said my Mate. Him and his wife were about to set off when a Fanfare sounded. Who's that? asked Dave's wife That's the Queen declared the Naval Gent By Gum said Dave She plays a mean Trumpet.

I sat gazing at the Night Sky, a Million Stars sparkled like Diamonds, which had been thrown by some Giant's Hand across the Black Velvet Heavens. Gossima thin clouds raced across the face of a Full Moon, blown by a Cosmic Breeze. The Full Moon Hung in the Night Sky, like a Shield of some Celestial Warrior awaiting his Return. It was then I thought I really need to put A Roof On This Outside Loo.

Leadership is what Notts needed and looks Like Rod has it. That's No disrespect to Macca, who's taken over the role of Captain. It's just I feel in a Defensive position Rod will have a wider view of the game and can Marshal the Defence and this will not only help Macca leaving him Free to concentrate on scoring Goals, but his Experience will also Benefit the Younger members of the Squad.

Amazing Just Amazing. Chris & Alex along with everyone associated with this Deserve all the Plaudits that are coming their way. The Ground Staff can Feel Incredibly Proud of Their Achievement and Hopefully this will be Acknowledged by Notts being Given Important Top Level Matches in the Future.

Former Notts County and now Swansea Manager Luke Williams had a Dizzy Spell in Swansea City Centre and Fell Over. Luckily two Swans Fans picked him up and took him into a nearby Nat West where he recovered. While drinking a Cup of Sweet Tea, Mr Williams Asked Where am I? You're in the National Luke Good Grief . What Happened to Leagues 1 & 2 ?

This Chap was sitting at the Bar When his Mate walks in with his New Dog. A Beautiful Coal Black Labrador. My Word George says the Bloke at the Bar. That is a Magnificent Animal. Thankyou Albert says the Dogs Owner. I'll let you in to a Secret. That there Dog is also a Blacksmith. A Blacksmith Don't Rubbish. No it's True. If I kick in the Nuts ,it'll make a Bolt For That Door.

I think Alan Carr would of been better off playing American Football He could have been a Tight End Or Even A Wide Receiver.

Napoleon and his Army marched back through the High Winds and Driving Snow, after the disaster of their Russian Campaign, for three days they had marched when Finally the Emperor Calls HALT The order is sent down the line of Battle wary Soldiers.. Suddenly about a Half Mile back a loan Trooper breaks ranks and goes hurrying along the Ranks of Tired Soldiers. 20 minutes later, running in full kit with his rifle, Sweat pouring down his face and Gasping for Breath, the Trooper looks at his Emperor Yeah What Do You Want? Napoleon looks at him and says I Called HALT. HALT says the Soldier I thought You Called WALT.

How Does Dracula get about ? He travels in a Blood Vessel. It wasn't until I'd Shot the 5th Zombie, that I realized they all were carrying Bags of Sweets. At Halloween, why do Fat Kids always dress up as Skeletons? Why was the Skeleton Sad at the Disco? Because he had No Body To Dance With.

When you've been married a long time a lot of things change from the Honeymoon Period of when you're first Married. I mean I know I shouldn't but I do little things, to annoy the wife, things like waking up in a Morning, Now that Really Annoys Her. Then things change like your body , you'll never guess what my wife as got Between her Boobs to try and turn me on. Her Belly Button. My Wife as the smallest bladder in the World. Stop the car I need to Pee. We're Not Even Out of the Drive way. Your Love Life changes as well we used have a Good Love Life, now we just lie in Bed and Fart at Each Other. I said to her What Do You Want for your Birthday? A Widow's pension. Mind You my Mate was telling me he knew when his wife had fallen out of Love with him. A few months ago, he had a Heart Attack and his Wife wrote for an Ambulance. My other Mate was telling me his wife thought their Love Life was Boring, the other night they were making Love and she put the Ash Tray in the middle of his Back. So I said to My Wife. What Are You Going To When I'm Dead? She replied Hopefully I'll Be Acquitted.