Wheelbarrow repair man

You know as you look back to the times when you were younger, you notice how things have changed how you have changed. I was looking through an old photo Album the other day, and I noticed how slim and fit I looked. In fact when I was younger I used to do an exercise routine naked. Well that was until the wife said Come away from those French windows if anyone sees you they'll think I only married you for your money.

A bloke walked into a Police station and said I think my wife maybe dead. Maybe dead Sir, how do you mean maybe dead? asks the copper. The bloke replies well the sex is the same but the washing is piling up. Christmas Day 2063 the family are all sat round after a big lunch, when one of the Grand kids says Hey Grandad sing us a song from the Old Days. So Grandad stands up and says well here's a song that is very dear to me and your Nan. It's called Slap your ***** up. A bloke's walking down the street when a crowd of people come rushing past him. He grabs one chap by the arm and asks What's happening? A tiger's escaped from the Zoo. Which way is it going? Well you don't think we're running towards it do you? I was at the bar in my local the other night, when this rather good looking young lady comes and stands next to me, and she was wearing the tightest pair of black leather pants I've ever seen in my life. I said to her how on earth do you get into those pants? Well she replied you start off by buying me a drink.

Me and a couple of mates were on our Locals Jolly Boys Outing in Scarborough, My mate Dave says I fancy an ice cream so we went along the sea front to an ice cream kiosk . Three 99's please Dave ordered. Hundreds and thousands? asked the ice cream seller. No just three 99's Thankyou. As we walked along the prom my other mate Phil asked Did you hear about the Ice Cream man found dead in his van? He was covered in syrup hundreds and thousands crushed nuts and broken chocolate flakes. Police reckoned he'd topped himself.

First of all I would like to Apologise to all the Fans on this site. It appears that the current problems at the Lane are my Fault in that I have failed in my job. Therefore I intend to put things Right. One Wheelbarrow, one Spindle one Wheel two Nuts two Washers a Hammer and a Spanner. Take said wheelbarrow with Hammer tap spindle through hole in Wheelbarrow's left front fork. Place Wheel on Spindle , tap Spindle through hole in right Wheelbarrow fork. Place Washer on each end of Spindle, then place Nuts on each end of Spindle. Tighten Nuts with Spanner. Wheelbarrow no longer broken, I've done my job so Notts should win on Saturday!! Ah if only it was that Simple. A Little Bit of Light heartedness during this tough time for the Magpies.

I remember the time I took the wife to Blackpool I hired one of those horse and carriages. We set off along the seas front a blanket across our knees, the wife had her head on my shoulder and we were enjoying going through the lights along the Golden Mile, when suddenly the horse Farts oh a real rip snorter it was really embarrassing. I said I 'm sorry about that, with out missing a beat the wife says Oh I thought it was the Horse.

As a Notts fan I've not felt this deflated in a long time. The biggest question people will be asking how much longer will Stuart Maynard remain in charge? Because to be honest I can't see Notts getting another point. If Notts lose at Accrington the pressure could be to great for the Brothers to stick with their choice of coach and we could see Jim O'Brien back in the dug out. There also seems to be strong rumours flying around that certain players have no desire to play for SM, if there is a divided changing room that needs to be sorted quickly. After the Sutton defeat and tonight's result even the most ardent Maynard fan will be starting to ask questions regarding his tenure at the Lane.

Me and couple of mates were walking through our local park the other day, and there was this old guy sitting on a bench sobbing his heart out. What's up fella ? asked my mate It's terrible just terrible replies the old guy. What is ? asked my other mate. I'm 75 years old and I've married a 25 year old ex-pole dancer, she's a wonderful cook keeps the house spotless and makes love to me 3 times a day. Once when we wake up, once in the afternoon and once again before we go to sleep. Blimey I said what's terrible about that? I asked. I can't remember where I live said the old guy.

I think thommo you are right regarding Connell Rawlinson, I like yourself hold no ill will against the guy, there have been times when he as produced a top performance in the Black & White stripes, but I think he's starting to slow down, he is after all not getting any younger from a playing point of view. To be honest I thought he may have retired after the Wembley Victory, and end his career on a high. But we don't know how he feels he may still think he can do a job for Notts and only he will know when it's time for him to hang up his boots.

Fair Points Joshua but can't help but think one of the main reasons Notts haven't produced home grown talent, is the fact young players are continually sent out on loan to other clubs season after season and occasionally they get the odd outing in the first team usually in a match of no particular importance. Another point is if the team are playing well the Notts youngsters don't get much of a chance of appearing in the team, the only thing that usually happens is they get to train with the first team squad. I don't think there's a right time or a wrong time for a young Notts player to make his debut that's down to the Gaffer and his staff , I was thinking Notts season is over now I don't think they'll make the playoffs and they're more or less clear of relegation. So really what better time to blood the young un's? Praise and negative remarks go hand in hand through out a footballers career. How many times over the years has a young lad shown promise only to be farmed out on loan over and over only to lose interest in the game or disappear into the obscurity of Non League football? Lewis Macari comes to mind he realised he was getting no where at Stoke, so he threw in his lot with Notts and he's shown what he's capable of and is turning out to be a decent player who could end up being a solid defender for Notts for a few seasons. So I still think it wouldn't do any harm for a young player to be given a chance.

As a treat I took the wife to one of those TV Chef's restaurants the prices were crazy, for a three course meal you'd need a bank loan. So in the end we had the cheapest thing on the menu boneless chicken price, £45.99 per portion, the waiter brought two Fried Eggs. You know when you're at the Airport don't customs ask some daft questions? As anybody you don't know put anything in your bags? I don't know anybody I don't know. As a stranger ever given you anything? I once went to Amsterdam on a Stag Weekend. I over heard the wife talking to a neighbour the other day, she said I didn't surprise her like I used too when we were younger. So I took her out for Tea and Biscuits it was the first time she'd been a blood donor. I remember when I proposed to the wife she said yes, but then stated that ever since she was a little girl she always wanted to get married in a Castle. I said Sweetheart if you want to get married in a Castle, we'll get married in a Castle. And we did and I can still remember the look on her face as we bounced up and down.

After the Wembley victory over Chesterfield and the title Battle with Wrexham the Magpies picked up a few Fair Weather Fans and I would suggest most of the Negative response comes from them, for it would seem long term Magpie fans are willing to give the new Gaffer time and hope he can turn things around. The thing is after the 2023/2024 season Magpie Fans are used to Notts winning games and currently they aren't getting the victories Fans want, ( sorry for stating the obvious). We long term Fans have seen this all before the booing the call for the Manager/Head Coach to be sacked, and the Negative response to certain players. We can't stop the booing the cat calling the toxic posts on social media platforms, but I think a vast majority of the Notts Fan Base is positive the only thing is the nay sayer's seem to be the more vocal. And perhaps they believed all the Hype which the Media heaped on Notts at the start of the season, how Notts and Wrexham were favourites to get promotion. Myself and a large majority of Magpie fans would class a top half finish and maybe a run at the Playoffs would be the sign of a Good season.

Robbie You Just Smashed It. You are so right about Jason Turner the influence the positivity and his footballing knowledge had an immense impact at the Lane, His Tragic Death last season hit the club staff players and fans like a bomb going off. His photo was carried by the players at Wembley and I'm sure the memories of Jason's time as C.E.O at Notts helped inspire the Lads to their victory over Chesterfield. And as you have stated Jason's death may have also been a factor in Notts misfortunes, because his personality and footballing know how, would have certainly helped Stuart Maynard's transition into the Magpies New Head Coach. You may want to put your comment on Social Media, it may give certain Notts Fans pause for thought.

What would you do then Joshua? Wrap all the kids up in Cotton Wool? It's one hell of a life being a professional footballer with Disappointment and Heart ache for most and only a few talented players reaping the Big Rewards. Look at Macca where was he a few seasons back? Playing in the seventh tier of the Football pyramid, Gateshead gave him his chance and he took it with both hands, now the Magpies have given him another chance and he's taken it and the way things are looking another club higher up the Leagues seem set on offering him a bigger chance come the summer. Football is tough and young players are going to suffer knocks it's all part and parcel of the game, if a defeat is going to dent their moral then maybe they aren't good enough to become a Professional player? I remember back in the 70's Gordon Banks gave an interview and told any aspiring young Goalkeeper don't join the Best local team, but the Worst that way you gain more experience and build yourself into a better tougher character. In fact just appearing in the Notts first team will boost any young players moral, if the Magpies Win or Lose.

Why not give the young 'uns a go? If there's any not out on loan, you wouldn't be short on enthusiasm they'd all be determined to put on a show.

Fan of Big Tone. According to Maynard in his after match interview the reason why he didn't put Jatta on was the fact (according to the Gaffer) Notts weren't putting in enough crosses into the box?? I think that proves how inexperienced Maynard is at this level, I think any other manager would have thrown the Big Guy on just to see if he could shake things up against the Dons defence. By saying that Notts weren't putting in enough crosses into the opposition's box, does this mean SM thinks Jatta can only score with his head? I admit that does sound Crazy from me, but there you go.

Fair point Robbie. But if Warnock came back to the Lane, I don't think it would be a backwards step (in my opinion) as I stated the guys Experience would be a vast benefit to a Manager of Maynard's standing. Not only that it may cause a stir in the Media, which could also help Notts. The other thing is will Maynard be given time ? Already on other platforms he's being compared by other fans to Jammie Fullerton and Harry Kewell, and we don't need to be reminded of their reigns at the Lane. Another point is will the Brothers keep SM or will they bow to pressure of certain Fans? Who only want to see a winning Notts team, they may be only Fair Weather Fans, but if there's enough of them and they vote with their feet and crowds at the Lane drop from 11,000 to only 6-7,000 or lower then the financial situation could change the dynamic at Notts. Everything at the moment is up in the air at N.C.F.C and we fans can only sit and wait, to see how things turn out. I have every faith in the Brothers to deliver the right answers to the Magpies problems.

I went into a record shop and asked the assistant, What have you got by the Doors? He replied a bucket of Sand and a Fire Blanket. I sat in a restaurant with the wife and the waiter brings in some tiramisu and a blindfolded horse. I said No Mascarpone. So I was steering the boat with my stomach muscles, Ab Sailing. I was stood with my mate at his wife's grave. She doesn't know that, she thinks it's going to be a garden pond.

I would have certainly taken a 0-0 draw, but once again Notts failed with their game management. What's to do? Well it's quite easy to lay all the blame at Stuart Maynard's door. But let's not forget the Recruitment team must also take a huge chunk of the Blame, has they knew the Notts defence had been abysmal since the season's start and they did nothing to change that position in the January Transfer Window. And let's not forget the Magpies were being found out while Luke Williams was still, at the Lane. Things may have been better if Williams had stayed, but I believe Not by Much. The most glaring difference ( to me anyway) is that Luke Williams man management skills are far above Stuart Maynard's. Williams could coax top performances out of mediocre players, players who really are NOT League 2 standard. Unfortunately both Maynard and we Fans are now finding that out, and there are an awful lot of them. The only thing Notts can do is battle on to the end of the season and have a Massive Shake Up during the up coming off season. Certain players must be let Go while others need to be released from their contracts. In my opinion there are maybe 10 worth holding onto, but three of them maybe gone in the Summer. I see Neil Warnock as left Aberdeen, now I'm Not saying he should replace Maynard as manager at the Lane, but could he be found a role, Director of Football or some such? His Vast Experience could help Maynard to extend his footballing knowledge and stop Notts playing this Tippy Tappy Football where they have 73% possession but only 1 shot on goal.

Maynard Out, get Out of My Club Notts diving into a Relegation Battle. And other such posts being screamed about on Social Media. The Booing at the end of this evening's match told it's Own Story and lets be honest Who even the Most Loyal Notts Fan wasn't disheartened by this display? The Magpies were at Home the team facing them are bottom of the League it should have been a cut and dried 3 pointer. The way things are going Notts might not get another point this season as Fans have stated and who can blame them? Stuart Maynard may last till the end of the season or we might see Jim O'Brien back in the Caretaker Head Coach role. What ever happens, the Players must also take their share of the Blame each one should take a long hard look in the Mirror and ask themselves Could I Do Better? And lets face facts there are a lot of Notts players who are Not League 2 standard. Luke Williams with his man management skills could get the best out of mediocre players, but unfortunately the present Gaffer can't. If he is to survive Stuart Maynard needs to to ditch his current game plan and start from scratch and learn how to grind out results even if it means sticking all eleven Notts players behind the ball if it means parking the bus then park the bus and then hope to get a goal on the break. Even a 0-0 Draw is better than a loss.

Yeah liampie I guess I got slightly off topic apologies. It was just that I thought Stuart Maynard gave a good interview about this evening match and I wanted to comment on it.

Isn't Leigh Curtis with Derbyshire Live now and reports on the Rams. ? It was a shame when he left Nottingham Live, Because the Notts coverage since his departure as been very poor and hardly exists. Then most of the articles that do appear, there's No Comment section for Fans to express their views. Here's a Wild Thought lets put a couple of youngsters on the bench ala Jurgen Klopp. Crazy I Know.

gtownjohnno care to expand on your opinion? Is it a bad thing the gaffer is interviewed that way? How would you like the interview to be done? I would think even if it was as you say to well rehearsed it was professionally done and more entertaining than listening to others who obviously come across as not wanting to be there and just trot out the same questions in the same monotone voice.

Just watched the Gaffers interview regarding tonight's match. And what a nice surprise an interviewer who asked intelligent questions and didn't sound half asleep, I think the Notts Media Team need to stick with just this guy because other so called interviewers just ask Stuart the same questions , but in a different order and sound about as interested in asking questions as I am becoming a Forest Fan.

My mate Des had a hip replacement and asked his surgeon could he have the bone for his Dog. I must Remember when the Wife says she wants treating, for her birthday it doesn't mean with a coat of Cupronol. Wood stain. So I was having my eyes tested and the guy asked, when were your eyes last checked ? Never I said they've always been Blue. If you want laugh when you go to get your eyes tested and the optician comes in really close and asks What can you see ? Say I can see dead people. Scares the Living Daylights out of them.

I got stopped by the Law. Been drinking have we Sir? Asked the Copper . I've had a couple , don't know about you officer. Got pulled over again the Policeman asked have you been drinking? Yes I replied 9 pints of Lager, 3 double whiskies and a Spiced Rum. Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir? Why ? I asked Don't you Believe Me? Me and a couple of mates staggered out of the Pub, in the car park a bloke had his head under the bonnet of his car. Wassa Marra? I asked. Piston Broke. Said the guy So am I mate so am I.