Wheelbarrow repair man

@Fan of Big Tone, I was just about to ask Which Dragon Are You?

@upthepies My thoughts exactly, I've stated in another thread a fiver to stand up and a tenner to sit down, plus an extra fiver if you want to park your car. Then the drinks and the food you buy, it could turn out to be far to expensive for a family to attend. Plus is it a fiver to gain entrance on a Notts Match Day? Plus the place is Cashless. What happens if Fans don't have a Card and prefer to pay Cash.? I know I do. I 'll go down the Lane watch the match and go to my favourite watering hole the Partizan Tavern.

Any PON members go to the Opening Night at the Fan Zone? If so can we have a Honest Report? Both The Good and The Bad?

Willie Carlin, Matijja Sarkic and now Kevin Campbell. The loss of three players in such a short time, truly Heart Breaking. May they All Rest In Peace.

Walking round a Record Shop the other day looking at LP's, the prices nowadays are Crazy. Anyway going through Records section by Section .I couldn't find what I wanted. So I said to the Youth behind the Counter What have you got by the Doors. He looked at me a bit funny and replied A Bucket of Sand and a Fire Blanket. Everybody thinks they're a Comedian.

There's an old Guy sitting on his front porch when a little lad he knows walks by with something under his arm. What you got there Johnny ? I've got me a roll of Chicken wire, I'm gonna catch me some chickens. The old Guy says You wont catch chickens with chicken wire. But a few hours later back comes Johnny with half a dozen Chickens in the chicken wire. The following day the old Guy's out on his porch again and along comes Johnny. What you got there Johnny? I've got me some Duct tape, I'm gonna catch me some ducks You'll never catch any Ducks with Duct tape. But once again a few hours later Johnny returns with six ducks wrapped in the Duct tape. On the third day Johnny comes along swishing a stick though the air What you got there Johnny? asks the old Guy I've got me some P**** Willow. Hold on Son, I'll get me coat and come with you.

It is Sad to hear about the Death of any player in the Football Family , but it certainly hits home when a Guy so young passes. R.IP Matija

The Wife and I went for a drive in the country. We stopped at this nice Pub. In the lounge there was this chap sitting next to the fire he had dog lying at his feet, of course the wife goes over and starts making a fuss of the Dog. Who's this then? she asked. That be my Gun Dog Caesar replied the owner Anyway we sat down at a nearby table, when this Bloke walks in and goes to the bar. Instantly Caesar's up watching this Bloke like an hawk. The bloke sits down. Caesar sits down. As soon as the bloke gets up again, the Dog's straight up and watches him until he sits down again, then the Dog sits down again. Anyway this goes on all night every time this Chap makes a move old Caesar's up watching until the chap settles down again, the Dog sits back down. Just before closing time, the Chap turns to leave, and the Barman says Good night Mr Partridge.

You know I really enjoy Wildlife Programmes on the Tele. They're really interesting. You learn all about animals Insects fish and all the Creatures on our Earth. You also get questions to answer about the Animal Planet, Like, How many Flies does it take to Screw in a Light Bulb? Answer Two. The biggest problem is getting them into the Light Bulb.

Have you ever come across the type of person, who for No apparent reason just starts talking to you? You don't know them nor they you. But they still start chatting. Well the other day I was in a urinal have a wee, when this bloke at the other end starts hacking and spitting making an awful row. He looks at me then says. I'll Tell You One Thing Youth. Those Pineapple Chunks Taste Bloody Horrible.

Two twin brothers, one with extremely large eyes the size of saucers and his brother with extremely large ears the size of plates, go for a job on a Clipper Ship. They report to the Ship's Captain who, looks them over to the brother with the big eyes he says' You can be the Ships Look Out. Up you go into the Crow's Nest. To the brother with large ears he says I haven't got job for you, well I suppose you can scrub the Decks. Anyway three weeks out of Port and the brother in the Crow's Nest shouts out Chinese Junk off the Starboard Bowe. The Captain looks through his telescope and there on the far horizon, he can see a little dot, slowly moving along. . That's amazing thinks the Captain. How do you know it's a Chines Junk? shouts the Captain to the brother in the Crow's Nest. Our Kid Can Hear Them Talking.

So I've got this Brand New Ducatti 916 Motorbike, Beautiful Machine in Red. And the wife asks Can I take her Mother for spin on it? Yes I suppose. So the Mother-in-Law sits on the Pillion . Then it Starts GBH on the Ear hole. You're going to fast slow down, mind that parked car watch out for those pedestrians On On she goes. I pulled up at some traffic lights, they turn to Green and off I go. Half a Mile further on I get pulled over by the Law. The Copper gets out of his Car and I remove my Helmet. Are you aware Sir, Your Passenger fell off at the last set of Traffic Lights? Thank Heavens I replied I thought I'd Gone Deaf.

A ticket costing £5 to stand and a tenner to sit down during the Euro's ? No Thanks. Then the cost of a drink and something to eat, that's not going to make it a cheap Afternoon/ Night out for a Family. Plus a Fiver if you want to park your car. Go down to the Local and watch England games for nothing. Or watch it at home get a some bottles in a few nibble have your mates round and watch the Matches on your own Flat Screen Plasma TV.. Is this how much it will cost to get into the Nest on Match Day a Fiver a Time? Everything as got to be paid for by Card. Going Cashless? Nah Not For Me Thanks.

Anybody on PON Superstitious? Because looking at the Nest Logo there's only One Magpie. And as the Rhyme goes ONE FOR SORROW. Lets Hope Another Magpie is Added. TWO FOR JOY.

I've read about the Red Dogs wanting to move to Toton. Don't think it will happen it would cost far to much. Having to build the Stadium plus Parking and laying down access roads etc, it's already been rumoured it would cost between 5-8 Billion Pounds. On top of this there's a Local School Academy nearby plus the Tram Stop. The continual Construction noise and pollution and the arrival and Departure of Construction Traffic will certainly make Locals lives a Misery. Then there's the Historical Point that being the closeness of Meadow Lane and the City Ground, the nearest two stadiums in England. And wasn't the Forest Owner going to extend the City Ground at one stage, did that happen?

A Chap was pulled over by the Police and was asked, Have you be drinking Sir? Yes Officer. 9 Pints of Lager, 2 Double Whiskies and a Drambuie Would mind blowing into this Bag. Why? Don't You Believe Me?

A Mate of mine was pulled over for speeding. The Copper asked, Why were you going so fast? Two years ago my Wife ran away with a Policeman, I thought you were Bring Her Back.

I had to get Towed home last night Because Mole and Ratty were to Drunk. My Mate and his wife have called their fourth child Ivy. Because they couldn't agree on a name so used Roman Numerals instead. Old fashion Girls names Like Rose Elsie and Lilly are are making a comeback And my Mates daughter and her husband wanted to give their little girl a name like that But they couldn't decide which, so in the end they called her Nan. Saying she'll grow into it.

You know Every Year I try and find something different to give the Wife on Special Occasions, Such has her Birthday Wedding Anniversary or Christmas. I Remember Last Christmas. I Bought her An Artificial Leg, As a Stocking Filler.

This just in from from Hollywood. A Brand New All Action Movie about Classical Music Composes is due to start Film in the Late Summer. Starring Sylvester Stallone Dolph Lundgren Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger. We now go over to see which Composer the Stars will be. Who will you be Sly? I'll be Beethoven What about you Dolph? I'll be Mozart. And you Chuck? I'll be Straus And Finally Arnie Who will you be? I'll be Bach.

Hey @Robbie have you seen the Lee Evans skit on the Scoring in Tennis on You Tube? It's very Funny and well worth a Watch.

On a visit to the Doctor's I was informed don't eat anything Fatty. What like Chips Pies Crips ? I asked No said the Doc .Don't eat anything Fatty!! My Mate thinks he's a Chocolate Orange. I'm worried he might be sectioned. Poor Terry. I remember one time before me and the wife were married we were snogging on the Settee and she looked at me and said Do you want to take this into the Bedroom. I said Ok you grab the other end. A Mate of mine lost his job as a Zoo Keeper. Which he thought was very unfair. Throughout the Zoo there were signs everywhere saying Do Not Feed The Animals. So He Didn't.

I bought a Chameleon Lost it. I once took a dehumidifier in to a Sauna, just to see which one would win. I pulled up in a layby and there was a sign which said No Dumping. I was Ok I only wanted a wee. I thought P.P.I was something you got if you didn't wear goggles, at the Swimming Baths.

You know as you Travel around don't see some strange signs like All Day Breakfast. I thought I haven't got time for that. Family Fun Day. Now there's three words that don't belong together. Then there was the time my watch stopped during a minute's silence I was stood there for hours. I couldn't tell anybody. Imagine coming Last in a Race For Life.

So I'm at the Doctor's and I get called in to her surgery. Hello what seems to be the trouble ? she asks. Morning Doctor. I've got this Discharge. Alright drop your Pants and Boxers and I'll have a Look So the Doctor looks and starts handling the Old Family Jewels. and things start to , well you know respond. Thankfully she stops and things start to settle down. Alright she says you can pull your Boxers and Pants back up. Now how was that? Very Nice I replied. Now this Discharge It's coming out of my Left Ear Doc.