MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY!
HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!!!

Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

That's the way the game is played.:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer. (-5)

PROTECTIVE DUTIES
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5)
You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10)
It's her pet Schnauzer. (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1)
You stay by her side for a while,
then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer. (-10)
Tina has implants. (-40)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner. (+2)
You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2)
And its all-you-can-eat night. (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night,
and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie. (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes. (+5)
You take her to a movie you hate. (+6)
You take her to a movie you like. (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to
baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5)
(Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding. (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
You say "It doesn't notice much" (-50)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen,
displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (+2)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV. (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000)

 

Hilarious, Tony and soo true. You are in a mischievous mood today aren't you(Rams players on pitch, indeed!)

Yes, I'm feeling a bit mischievous so I've changed my mood on my profile.

MR. HATELEYS DERBY PLAYER JOKE:-

 

  Tells wife about it   (+5)

 

  Takes joke in good part  (+50)

 

  Mentions donkey response  (-500)

 

  adds end part about team over river  (+300)

 

  goes to make wife cup of tea  (+10)

 

  accused of creeping   (-20)

MR. HATELEYS DERBY PLAYER JOKE:-

 

  Tells wife about it   (+5)

 

  Takes joke in good part  (+50)

 

  Mentions donkey response  (-500)

 

  adds end part about team over river  (+300)

 

  goes to make wife cup of tea  (+10)

 

  accused of creeping   (-20)

 

 

Adding all those up that leaves -155 ..............not good.

remind me not to get married!

I don't think it would make a difference with Joe if i added or took away points, he wouldn't bother about points either way

I know that whatever I do I'll end up with negative points.

Lol, We all end up with negative points in one way or the other

Can't win sometimes can we ?

Most of the time we can't win no matter of we are the husband or wife.