Chris

I wrote this poem thinking about many people who are sadly not with us, provoked mostly by the thought of Kimbo's death but also of several other friends, such as Tracey Bellis, Jayne Briggs, Angela Wilson, and many more regular faces who attended home and away.

It's been a while since I wrote a blog; for me, the personal ones were aimed at a release, while the insightful ones about PON were more about behind-the-scenes information and updates. In fact, I am writing this as I go along, which will hopefully end up less like a random ramble but more like a case of reminding myself where I was. I have spent a lot of time reflecting, thinking about how differently I would have gone about things, given what I know now. You do make mistakes, but you have to own them and move forward. I know some might think dwelling on things isn't healthy, but for someone who suffers greatly from mental health issues, it's the one useful way to get a real sense of perspective on things. To say I care about Notts, I think it's obvious to anyone who knows me. There are times when I think of how passionate my grandfather Ray was about Notts, and how useful he would be to a site like this. He really was a walking encyclopedia on Notts. Name a game, and he would tell you the score, attendance, date, and all that information. I think he would have also been a huge asset when I think of things I have done wrong. Saying that, it's not like I have ever shot someone, but to say I wasn't prepared when I did get the vision right. I think I started with too much, too soon, for example. My initial vision was to share cherished memories and articles inspired by the insights of fans in the front end and just be a general forum. Yet, it can become addictive to add things, and, reflecting, it could be confusing for a lot of people who aren't used to it. I have spoken before about the first time I saw a fan browsing PON at Meadow Lane, and how that gave me encouragement along with a buzz. I used to get it when members joined, but with so many never really doing anything over time, it just became less expected. I don't want the wrong impression given here; it's like if you open a store and have people come in but never really purchase anything. The exhilaration of your first sale and the thrill of acquiring your fifth active customer can quickly become commonplace. I don't take members for granted, but my point about people joining only to disappear really used to baffle me. Back in the day, I used to email regular content out in newsletters, but those got few hits, and I think it became a little annoying. When these do return, it will be for those who want them, and I have learned a lot more about what makes people excited to read content. That's the thing I have learned the most: you pick things up, and over time, if you keep working on it, you get better. I learned a lot from Joe Jones's time working alongside me, and fans frequently say how they feel I am undervalued, but he was a real driving force in shaping PON. Then again, those who, for whatever reason, decide to be awkward towards me try to claim I make the site about me when, in fact, I try my hardest to make the community feel valued. It's been a long journey for me: 20 years in visioning the concept, 15 in working on it productively, and 13 in trying to get it right. That's a chunk of my life, and I still sometimes feel I am no different than when I started, but that is just my negative thoughts taking over. Fact is, I have grown as a person immensely from being very shy to more reserved but able to communicate in person. I have picked up, improved, and learned so many skills, and all have been worthwhile. Having my family's support, my father, and my dearly missed mum, who was a common talking point amongst my friends on match day. My children and wife. All have played their roles in encouraging me, helping me, and making the site what it is. Credit can't be taken by one person alone; it's a community effort, and my only goal these days is to bring value to people. Do what I enjoy most, make the most of what I can while I can, and by the end of it. I know I can be proud and feel like my grandfather Ray and my mother would be, too. Sentimental ending?I am not leaving it there. While my time as of this week has mostly been spent on overcoming an illness, it has given me time to think about things. There are some exciting things that I think regular and active members will enjoy. My friend @True Magpie, is working hard on bringing some positive changes in terms of help guides which I will be chipping in with myself. I also aim to add a new cetegory to my blog, where I digest my thoughts on Notts games. I used to struggle with match reports, I hated the idea of writing them because I would always want to add my thoughts. Give a reflection based on what went wrong, but never really understanding how to write what happened. Each paragraph used to be an headache, I wrapped my head around it's basically telling a story of how the game unfolded and the focus is to openly construstive to both teams. Exhibit honesty without any bias or embellishment.

There's doubts that myself, and Jake (@super_pie) will be fit enough to be part of the 12th man. I am looking forward to the game, I think it's a good chance to get back to winning ways and since we signed Nick Tsaroulla and Kellan Gordon (I am outdated, is he injured? He went off at Gillingham) from them I would hope that they can help us in terms of some insights into Crawley despite things having changed since they were there, it would be nice to see either player crop up with a goal for us. It will be interesting to see if Martin Paterson sticks with two up top? I would bring Scott Robertson on for Ollie Norburn, I don't think Norburn injects much energy into the side and Robertson has a good amount of chemistry with Matt Palmer. It could help overcome some of this disconnection we have in our midfield. Aside from that, I can't see much changing but if I do feel well enough, I hope I don't watch us pass the ball back too much. Against Gillingham it did come at the cost of attacking, and was quite frustrating to see how lacking Notts were creaively.

I used to attend them religiously, but I find them to be quite pointless because any question worth knowing will be diluted or politically answered. It's to be expected, and as such I find it to be more of a waste of time. This one seems a lot more important, at least for me to see where other fans are coming from and getting a fairer reflection on what concerns people have. Outside of social media and beyond what fans say to me when I talk to them. I would hope the forum isn't an attempt to appease people, as I think it tends to cause more problems. My hope is that Notts can use this as a way to be informative to us fans and get the majority of supporters back on side with what matters. That is encouraging for the site, and I'm hoping we can climb the table; there have been teams who have struggled and gotten their act together. I would hope Notts sees how important we are to chasing promotion, digging ourselves out of tough times, and just mounting pressure. We had it for one brief season after promotion back to League Two.

I haven't seen Alassana Jatta struggle so much with defenders as I have against Gillingham; there were several times he was literally pulled to the ground. Though tinted blue, glasses believe their team are saints in the dark arts department. Likewise, even Matthew Dennis struggled, but I think he coped a lot better than Jatta, which is why I think Gillingham started to fly in on Dennis. Personally, I think it was, in hindsight, the wrong decision to play two strikers against Gillingham, but in principle it should have worked. As much as they played quite deep, it's due to the midfield having little grip on the game and how the Gills created; they did force us to play quite deep. Every pass we made, they would quickly press and mark with multiple players, and our strikers never really had any service in the second half. We started to resort to attempting to get Jodi Jones to run, overlap, and create the space to attack. It's too early to say if we are better with two strikers or not. It's possible that we simply need to choose more wisely, because at times it won't benefit us to play both Jatta and Dennis. Yet that presents the question: will Martin Paterson be brave enough to make the right call as to who should start? And even then, how do you choose between either? As easy as we might think, both players have their strengths but are equally good on goal. Against Gillingham, I would have played Jatta as the lone striker and then considered switching to two up top in the second half or withdrawing Jatta for Dennis. I don't think Ollie Norburn always offers much for his place in the team; it could be that he is still finding fitness and is naturally hit-and-miss due to coming back from injury, but I would much rather play Scott Robertson moving forward.

There are no supporter buses for Notts, but it is likely that he could find a way to catch a Trent Barton bus and then use the same bus line to get to Meadow Lane. Have you tried using their Journey Planner? https://www.trentbarton.co.uk/bus-information/route-finder One day, Notts may get a monorail from the city centre or at least the tram network (monorail is an inside Notts joke). There could be alternative options too, such as seeing if there are nearby fans who drive (provided your father doesn't mind company). I know of quite a few fans who got to know people by giving lifts to and from games.

Stoke City 1-1 Birmingham City Wrexham 1-3 QPR AFC Wimbledon 0-2 Rotherham United Leyton Orient 1-2 Bolton Wanderers Bristol Rovers 2-0 Barrow Fleetwood Town 0-1 Walsall Hartlepool United 3-0 Brackley Town Joker Wealdstone 0-0 Gateshead

We'll have to enjoy his time here, much like we did with Macaulay Langstaff. He's been a brilliant signing, and even though I still feel he looks less like a striker and more like an attacking midfielder. His attributes that allow him to retain the ball, as if it's glued to his foot until he shoots, and his relentless battling when he is pressed by multiple opposition players only to walk away with the ball, are great skills to have. Re-watch the goal he scored against Bromley, where Kelle Roos assisted him. That was one of the purest goals we have scored; it reminded me of how Enzio Boldewijn would have a burst of brilliance. Yet Dennis has a much higher quality about himself, and his confidence seems unmatched.

I almost threw a tantrum, and would have stopped playing had I not guessed right when I did. This can be a very frustrating game to play! 😉 Wordle 1,546 4/6 ⬛⬛🟨⬛⬛ ⬛🟨⬛⬛⬛ 🟨🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

As @theAnticlough mentioned, I don't think it would be a bad decision to allow Jodi some time to breathe and to try to use him as a super-sub once Gillingham begins to tire. The issue with having more than 3 subs is that teams tend to replace those who are not making an impact or who need to come off because they are tired. It can be a little less effective to bring someone on from off the bench aimed to bring a spark, so I would hope that Notts could make the most of the Matthew Dennis and Alassana Jatta duo. I might be more inclined to suggest leaving Barry Cotter on the bench, for a similar reason as Jodi. If we brought both of them on around the same time and they had started brightly before, it might make Gillingham rethink things. Going there can be tough; they are a good football side and won't be afraid to pressure Notts at the cost of committing their players forward. I think they will play quite deep in their defensive play, but much higher when they attack, and if we allow them to push us back. It could be a strong battle for both midfields. I am not sure what to predict, because both us and them make it hard to predict how it might unfold. It should be an entertaining game, even if it's just from a neutral fan's perspective.

Swansea will get more higher-profile people into these types of roles, and as for him coming back to Notts, I tend to say it's nothing but a coincidence. It's quite a stark contrast that people are extremely unhappy with Roberto Gagliardi, but he had one transfer window and had only been at the club for 5 months. Compared to Richard Montaque, who near his departure had a portion of criticism, he actually did a decent job. We'll never know what players are available, who realistically would join, and how much in wages we can afford to pay. Just like when a club signs a player fans would like to have at Notts, it doesn't mean we can afford them or that they would be a team player. Some players want to be guaranteed minutes; others want bonuses or add-ons, etc. I am not defending Gagliardi; I don't think he really won anyone over, but it seems unlikely that Montague will be coming back here.

@allardyces tash, I love reading your blogs. I love the splash of wit and contrasting remarks that you make. I can tell you spend time trying to be different, but also to be interesting; you balance it very well. The addition of a poll is a touch of class.

Not to be taken in the wrong context, but I don't think any supporter should hold any role close to their club where decisions could be based more on their heart than head. I also, wouldn't want to work in football. I would probably fall asleep during discussions, not because of how long or boring they might be but my time of doing anything like this has long past. Notts has a lot of collective minds, that are able to spot talent and if any wish to get involved in football, I would hope they find a path in via another clubs door because I would fear they might lose their passion for Notts if they were directly involved. I have done work in football, taking photographys for local non-league teams and had a stint where I help one with his online presence. I much enjoyed them, then anything of the fan meetings or other involvements close to Notts that I have had.

I think it's a bit strange that it's happened all of a sudden without any form of unrest being reported. I know the club is quite good at keeping things internal, but I wouldn't have expected this decision. What makes it weirder for me is that Roberto has worked under the Reedtz before, so what has changed? It feels somewhat like when Tom Weal was surprisingly replaced, and fans like @Piethagoram speculated it might have been down to Aidan Stone being recommended as our first team keeper. I honestly don't know what to make of it, if the club has decided it's not working, or if Roberto expressed this. It doesn't really matter, but things like this play straight into the hands of the rumour mill.

I'm quite happy being where I am; there's room to climb, and provided I keep hitting the average points needed, I should be fine. I feel sorry for my better half; normally she's pretty good at this. Relegation must be avoided, @cheeky~k8, what happened to wanting to beat Super?