Wheelbarrow repair man

I went with my mate to a Bunjee Jump for Charity, one chap there was Blind and he was going to jump! How brave is that? The thing is have you ever heard a Labrador Scream? Two Caterpillar's walking along a cabbage leaf and a Butterfly go's past. One Caterpillar says to the other You'd Never Get Me Up in one of those things. Then there was the Slug who got Mugged by two snails. The Police asked him what happened? To which the Slug replied I don't know it was all over so quickly. I went to the Vet and said I'm worried about my Cat. Is it a Tom? asked the Vet. No I've brought it with me.

I'd keep Jatta and Macca up front because seems that Didzy isn't yet up to full fitness so having him on the bench ready to come on would be a better choice. With Jodi on the Left and Nemane and Crowley on the right as I think those two play together well, where as Jodi and Crowley don't Gel when playing on the right as other people on this site have stated.

The wife comes down the stairs and says Look what I found in the wardrobe, I wore this on our first ever date and it's still fits. I looked at her and said Sweetheart it's a Scarf. Why is it the wife always asks you things you've got No Answer for. Take the other day she walks into the Kitchen while I'm having me Breakfast, Look at me, Just Look at me. What's up? I ask I'm only having a Fat Ugly Day. What do you say? Well Don't Go Out Then.

What's interesting is reading posts by Swindon Fans it seems their defence is worst than Notts, now that takes a lot of doing. If that is the case then the Magpies need to come of the Traps at full speed and put them under pressure from the first whistle. Agreed the team that played at Bradford would be a good choice, but will Maynard pick it or will he start faffing around with the Line up again? It's hard to tell what his thinking will be So For Pity's and our sake leave things alone and give the players the Freedom to play and the chance to get their dignity back and while you're at Maynard have a couple of our young un's on the Bench.

I remember when I was a young lad me and some pals went to this shall we say Dance Club. Anyway me and the guys were sat at the front when one the Dancers came on stage and she starts wiggling her behind at me in her hand she had a riding crop and she said Do you wanna whip it, while still wiggling her behind. I said You What? She said Do You Wanna Whip It? I said Well I wouldn't Mind. Now I've got this little Greyhound to look after.

If Helen of Troy's face Launched a thousand ships. It must have been one hell of Mess once they'd finished.

My Son and me were just leaving our Local when we heard a squeal of brakes a car's horn and an exchange of swear words. What had happened a Drunk had staggered out of the Pub straight into the road, and had been missed being hit by a car by an hair's breath. No sooner had the Drunk got back on the pavement he only turns round and staggers back into the road again. Once again he's just misses being ran over. He stood there swearing and sticking two fingers up at the driver. Hey Pal my Son shouts There's a Zebra Crossing a short way up the road. Well I hope it'd having better Luck than me said the Drunk.

This little lad and his Mum go to the pictures and they sit down in front of a courting couple, anyway the film starts and the little lad starts looking over his shoulder at the guy and his girlfriend sitting behind him and his Mum., His Mum whispers turn round and watch the film, which he does for a few minutes, then he peeps over his shoulder at the couple again and once again his Mum tells him to turn round and watch the film. Then for the third time the kid looks behind him and his Mum says I wont tell you again, if you turn round one more time I'm taking you home. The Kid looks at his Mum and says can I tell you what they're talking about Mum? Certainly not replies his Mum. Well they were only talking about Soap. Soap? says his Mum. Yeah replies the Kid. He said Put this in Your Palm Olive and she said Not on Your Life Boy.

I Agree with some of your points menzinho , but I think the new contracts handed out in the Summer, were done so with the Heart Ruling the Head. As I have stated many times on this site, Luke Williams Man Management skills were much more Superior than Stuart Maynard's and he could get good performances out of mediocre players. Once Williams departed the Rot that had started to set in during the latter part of his tenure spread at an Alarming Rate under Maynard. It is wrong to lay all of Notts problems at Maynard's door, but Football is a Results game and Maynard hasn't got them hence all the backlash from Fans. To be Honest I never read or heard about the players you mentioned that Notts tried to sign. But then again there must have been more than just two Defenders to be looked at? Anyway I expect a Massive Shake Up at the Lane this Summer.

Menzinho The reason why the Recruitment team are being called out is there were No EFL Standard defenders signed in January and in fact the defence as been poor for a Number of seasons. Yes Macari was signed but only because he was getting no where with Stoke and coming to the end of his contract there and he was already at Notts on loan so it was clear he was worth a gamble So one New Defender. Go back over the last few seasons and see who the Recruitment team have signed and you will find a lot more Duds than Gems. Why weren't the Notts players that got the Magpies promoted Not Screened and their Data explored to see, if they were up to League 2 Standard ? The Recruitment team should have all their details on File and must have known, that a vast majority of players were Not Up to playing at this League's Level. So they must accept their share of the Blame for Notts Present Woes. Did they have anything to do with the Hiring of Stuart Maynard? Or was that just down to the Owners?

How many more times? How many more times are Notts going to give away goals at the Death? How many more times is Stuart Maynard going to say, We were the Better team in the First Half. We created Big Moments in the Game. We Performed to a Good Level. Maybe BUT NOTTS STILL LOST. I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'm slowly losing faith in Stuart Maynard Yes we can point to Injuries and Bad Luck on occasions, but the Buck Stops with the Manager/Head Coach. How can the Magpies go to Newport and win 3-1. Then go to Bradford and win 3-0 only to come back to Meadow Lane and lose to teams, they shouldn't be losing too? Even the most Ardent Stuart Maynard supporter must realize deep down he's out of his depth. All the excuses Well it's not his team, he needs time etc etc they just won't wash anymore Two wins and two Draws is it? Under his tenure it's just not good enough, I'm afraid come the Summer he along with the Vast Numbers of the Notts playing Squad need to be gone they are just Not Up To League 2 Standard. And while we're at it Get Rid Of The Recruitment Team, what they are getting paid for is Beyond Me.

The wife reckons I've got the body of a God. She must mean Buddha. Yes you to could have a body like mine. If your Not Careful. I'm a sex symbol for women who don't care. My mate put a small ad in the paper it read. Fat Bloke seeks Super Model with Sense of Humour.

A little Polar Bear cub goes up to his Mum and asks I am a Polar Bear aren't I Mum? I'm not a Black Bear or a Brown Bear or even a Grizzly Bear, I am a Polar Bear? Of course you're your a Polar Bear dear. Why do you ask? Well it's just that I'm Bloody Freezing!! Same little Polar Bear Cub was having great fun with a Seal Pup, sliding on the ice, throwing snowballs at each other, building a snow den laughing having a good time Suddenly the Polar Bear Cub's Mum turns up and says How many times Have I told you Stop Playing With Your Food. How to catch a Polar Bear. First dig a big hole in the Ice. Then put frozen peas all around the hole. Because Polar Bears love Frozen peas (little known fact). Now wait and when the Polar Bear comes down for a Pea, you then sneak up behind it and Kick It In The Ice Hole.

Two young women approach a Scotsman who's wearing a kilt. Excuse me asks one, Is anything worn under the Kilt? No everything is in perfect working order My mate as French ancestry he was telling me that one of his French ancestors invented Gravy. You must have heard about the Count of Monte Bisto. This chap was on stage when he suddenly slipped and fell into the orchestra Pit and went Harp over Oboe. I once went out with a girl who was very posh, How Posh? Well put it this way she'd get out of the bath to have a wee.

They say an Elephant never forgets. But have you ever had a Birthday Card from one? What's the difference between an Elephant's backside and a Post Box? Dunno. No point in sending you with a letter then. How do you stop a herd of changing Elephants ? Make a Trunk call an reverse the charge. Me and my mate Dave were sitting on a Park Bench, when suddenly Dave pulls a can from his inside pocket and starts spraying the air around us. What's that? I asked Elephant repellent he replies. Don't be daft there's No Elephants around here. Shows that it works then.

I can't do dwarf impressions, but Hey Oh. Dipping Ginger nuts used to be great fun. But nowadays it's considered bullying. I was playing football on an airplane and there I was, Running up the wing. I got a letter through the post, Book yourself an Eye Test, in the end I booked two, might as well get the both done at the same time. I bought my Mother-in-Law a brand new chair for her birthday, but can't get her to plug it in. This chap and his mate were in a bar the chap says the Doctor told me I have to take a tablet every day for the rest of my life. His mate well that's not bad. The chap replies he's only given me four. I bought a Brand New pair of tortoise skin shoes. It took me over an hour to get out of the shop. The Post Office have spent £180 million on a machine that can sort 25,000 letters per minute. Then they give them to a bloke on a bike.

Another Poem Little Birdie flying high drops a message from the sky Says a Farmer wiping his eye It's a damn good job Cows can't fly

A Poem A Blackbird sat upon my window how sweetly he did sing, He song told of the end of Winter and the coming of Spring I threw back my bed clothes and tip toed from my bed Gently I closed the window and crushed the noisy bleeders head.

Robbie agreed Williams didn't tinker with anything in my opinion it was Maynard that's done the tinkering, Williams team could only play one way and once Notts were found out he didn't have a plan B. Maynard was hired by the Brothers because he had Wealdstone playing in a similar way and I think they hoped he would continue in the same vein at Notts, however Maynard has quickly found out these tactics don't work in League 2 so he's changed things about, trying to find a solution which hasn't been forthcoming hence the poor results, however if he can get Notts playing as they did for the first 20 minutes in the second half at Bradford (said by some to be the best minutes played by Notts under Maynard) on a constant level for the full 90+ minutes in matches then the Magpies should get back to winning matches on regular basis. As you have said Notts now have no fear of being relegated, so there is nothing stopping the players from going out and expressing themselves and Maynard finding out which of his game plans is best suited for the Magpies to play and Win.

Same line up and same formation, lets just hope SM doesn't start tinkering with things if It Ain't Broke Don't Fix It. I think that may have been one of the problems that has affected SM's transition into the Notts Head Coach, tinkering about trying to copy Luke Williams strategy while attempting to put his own spin on things, Luca Ashby- Hammond also deserves praise in having the foresight to send a long ball forward hence his assist , in other games another Notts keeper would have held on to the ball and started a build up from the back, Luca's quick thinking gave Jatta his chance and boy did he take it. Despite Macca scoring a goal he still seems a little edgy when he broke through the Bradford defence and was one on one with the Keeper he placed the ball were the keeper could save it, earlier in the season Macca would have buried that. A couple of more goals on Saturday will show he's truly back in the groove. Have Notts turned a corner? Maybe but I thought they had with the victory at Newport, so nothing is guaranteed. But 3 points at the Lane on Saturday will enhance the chances of the Magpies getting a top half finish and will boost the players and Most Fans confidence.

I remember one time the wife and I took the kids to our local Zoo, and we were in the retile house when I saw this woman and she was only trying to pet this massive Salt Water Crocodile. What are you doing? I asked That's a Man Eater ! She pulled her hand away Do you mean he'd eat me whole? Well he'd probably spit that out but it will eat the rest of you. I was on a course which meant I had to spend time away from home and I rang up the wife and said I wish I had you here in bed with me, kissing cuddling exploring each other's bodies. She said Who's that speaking? My mate Bernie who is a confirmed Batchelor still lives at home with his Mum. His Mum is 95 and not to steady on her feet, so being the Good Son he is, every morning Bernie carries her down stairs into the kitchen, so she can make him his breakfast. Sitting in a pub with the wife I couldn't help noticing the lines on her face. She saw me looking What's up? She asked Nothing much it's just I've noticed those crow's feet around your eyes. I'll have you know they're laughter lines. No Sweetheart. Nothing's That Funny.

Another plus regarding last night two Notts youngsters Luther Munakandafa and James Sanderson were on the bench, admittedly neither got onto the pitch ( a term used very loosely for Bradford's pitch) but just being part of the Match Day Squad would have done wonders for both lads morale, and hopefully both can gat a couple of games before the season's end.

The Players the Coaching Staff the Fans the Owners and the whole club needed that. Now let us go forward and get 3 more points on Saturday, one match at a time and lets hope the Magpies can build on this evening success. Nice to see Macca back on the score sheet and Jatta appears to be having an excellent spell in the Black & White Stripes lets hope, he can carry on in this vein.

It's Match Day !! And in the words of Doctor Smith from Lost In Space (who remembers that?) Oh The Pain.

Hopefully the result against Accy will have boosted the sagging moral of the Squad and maybe, just maybe will inspire the Notts players on to a victory. My head says a Bradford victory but in my heart Notts grab a late win 1-0 or 2-1, to ease the pressure on Stuart Maynard and the rest of his coaching staff.