Notts training sessions

[Tarkers]

Mark Cooper has recently identified the reason for our sporadic run of results.......niggling knocks picked up in training.

To combat this problem, he has instructed all players to attend training......coated in bubble-wrap!

After today's training, Mark was quoted as saying:

"Things got off to a poor start, when two of the players turned up in shrink-wrap! They obviously didn't read the e-mail correctly....or they're just plain stupid, I'm not too sure"

Both players were sent home again, with Mark saying ................................"They were both past their sell-by date anyway"

One of the other issues was the players inner-thighs sticking together as they ran!

Again Mark resolved the issue by greasing them up with a mixture of WD40 and cooking lard!

"That resolved the issue, but there was a curious aroma of chips cooking in a motorcycle workshop......it actually made me quite peckish" said the smiling manager.

There was only one reported injury during the session......when Izale McClod sustained 3rd degree burns.

Mark said "It's his fault. I've told him to stop throwing himself to the floor in the penalty area, but no....he never listens."

"On his 19th attempt at perfecting his "dying swan" impression, the plastic bubble-wrap caught fire due to friction........actually it is the fastest I've seen him move, as he sprinted for a fire extinguisher"

"I think I'll set fire to him during the next home game" said a serious-looking Cooper

 

[Chris]

Next season will we have contract bonuses like 'free bacon cob' per every goal etc.

[Elite_pie]

I find that an incredible topic tarkers.

Seriously, we have training sessions?