ARLukomski

That's why I made this at the end of May

I've been trying to get round to writing this and then put it up for a while, but me being me, has never got round to doing it. I struggle with speeches like this and trying to find the right words at the right moments. That's why I tend to freeze in important moments. For a while now (and I mean a few years) I've been wondering whether or not to carry on with my YouTube channel and my matchday videos. I started them because YouTube looked fun and whilst I enjoyed it for a certain amount of time, it got to a point where my motivation dipped dramatically and others (I tend to compare myself to others a lot even though I know it won't help) were and still are producing much better content. Summed up by the fact I didn't even bother to edit or upload the last two games of last season. I beat myself up over the smallest of mistakes and things can get to me quite easily. Whilst I should do it for the enjoyment and, I do get a modicum of enjoyment from time to time out of it, the low views, the Grimsby and Newport problems last season, the comment section after Donny and my mental health in general, coupled with my lack of motivation, really made me wonder/makes me wonder if I should bother carrying on. I still get people tell me they watch my videos and they enjoy them and I sometimes still get noticed out and about or at games, and I even had someone ask for a selfie with me at The Nest a while back, but I can never convince myself that my content is actually good. I want to be good at something, I want to be skilled, I want to be talented. That would go someway for me to be able to live with myself and find inner peace. However it feels a long way off. I've always had that feeling of having no sense of achievement. So no matter what I accomplish, I will always dismiss it because, either others will judge it, I think other people will have done something better or that any other normal person could have accomplished what I've done. I've always thought, if I quit, what would others think? A lot of people don't know me well enough to know why I am like I am. I haven't reached the stage of being comfortable enough to open up about my mental health. Would people still recognise me and see me for who I am, or would I just be a nobody? Would I still be relevant? Would people still see me as that YouTube guy? So I'm undecided. I've had this feeling inside of me and I've constantly questioned myself as to what the right choice is. I feel like I want to or need to pack it in but then it wouldn't feel right not doing what I have been doing for 8½ years and what I'm sort of known for doing. It takes a lot to give up something like this as it's been a big part of my life for almost a decade and part of me still wants to fight on. Something inside of me tells me there is something worth fighting for. This is where you come in. It is no longer in my hands. It is in the hands of the people. I need reasons to carry on. Why you think it's worth it, what's good and not good and what can be improved? I need YOU to tell me it is worth carrying on and to convince me. The feedback matters and I want you tell me honestly and to give me the reasons to carry on. No matter what the decision though, please don't forget about me

This is as of right now, but by no means final. We still need a centre-back (cough cough Lucas Ness), a centre-mid (cough cough Charlie McCann) and a striker with pace and can press (cough cough Benji Magee or Brad Young). You can flip a coin between Aaron Nemane and Kellan Gordon. I've chosen Gordon as he gives us more balance in the wing-back positions due to Jodi being more attacking. Our wing-back/full-back options are absolutely mental and is probably our strongest area of the pitch. The back 3 gives a nice balance. Matty Platt being a more aerially dominant centre half in the middle with Bedeau and Macari being able to stay wide to receive the ball and drive into space. Cedwyn can play just behind Jatta like he did for Langstaff in our promotion winning season, but just ahead of Crowley. For me though we still need a striker with Langstaff's pressing instincts and a bit more pace than our current options. GK Alex Bass RCB Lewis Macari CB Matty Platt LCB Jacob Bedeau RWB Kellan Gordon CM Matty Palmer CM Scott Robertson LWB Jodi Jones CAM Dan Crowley ST Cedwyn Scott ST Alassana Jatta

One of Ruari Paton, Brad Young, Michael Mellon, Will Evans, Colm Whelan, Johnny Kenny or Lee Bonis hopefully

Post match thoughts ⬇️ The trialists were Alex Kirk, Elliot Thorpe and Eno Nto

Had this ready since Saturday ⬇️

We need a few through the door now. Updated player cover in all areas ⬇️

If this does happen I will cry and then I'll get my pre-prepared Twitter thread up for replacements. Only when it is confirmed he's sold

I can understand it because once we bought in McDonald, we then have 3 left footed centre-backs in Bedeau, McDonald and Cameron. He's going to be a squad player and I agree he shouldn't be a starter for the forthcoming season. I also see in his statement, the change of captaincy was one of the reasons why he wanted to a new challenge. This shows it was Maynard's decision to change the captaincy and put it on Langstaff. I agree with this decision because Cameron was no longer the leader he was, when we were in the National League. Football doesn't stand still for anyone and we've got to move forward as a club and that includes bringing in new players to help us progress further. Players that are better at this level than the ones we had and will help us in the next few years. The stats don't lie. We had the worst defence in the league last season and the back line needed a complete revamp and that meant being ruthless. The defence was our biggest issue last season and it is being sorted. Adding to this, it shows the ruthlessness that was needed last summer. Cameron should not have gone last summer, but some players who were part of the squad last season, should've left in the summer of 2023 (after promotion). Our loyalty cost us progress and that goes to Richard Montague and also Luke Williams. One thing I must give Maynard credit for is his ruthlessness. Us Notts fans wondered if he had it in him. The answer is yes he does

That was the same account that said Stevenage were interested. Stevenage couldn't afford his right boot, never mind a whole Macaulay Langstaff. It's also the same account that said Derby were interested. The same Derby that have just signed Jerry Yates and Kayden Jackson. They've only paid 2 million in the past 5 years once and that was for Kevin Nisbet. Zian Flemming's deal was 1.7 million rising to over 2 million.

Can definitely play in a back 3 and has been great the last few seasons with Gateshead. Physically strong and able to play across the back line and is comfortable with the ball at his feet, as is expected of a Gateshead player

This is our current depth in every position. Obviously Bass, Brooks and Slocombe as well. I've not included Stone, Rawlinson or Randall as I think with the additions we've made, they'll be gone anyway. Still need at least 1 more centre mid and a right sided centre-back. If we don't sign Charlie McCann, I might just go and cry in the corner for a while. Kenton Richardson or Riley Harbottle for the RCB role

It'd be the greatest comeback arc in history. The 1 loan game raffle ticket winner to Notts' right sided centre-back. If he did sign it would give us the current options at centre-back... RCB - Lewis Macari, Kenton Richardson, Lucien Mahovo CB - Matty Platt, Rod McDonald, Lucien Mahovo LCB - Jacob Bedeau, Kyle Cameron, Rod McDonald

His best interview since he joined Notts. He looks a lot more calmer and confident now he's settled and is starting to shape the squad in his own way. There is a good head coach/manager in there. He's shown at Wealdstone that he can develop players (e.g. George Wickens, Sam Howes, Jed Ward, Riley Harbottle, Miguel Freckleton, Jacob Mendy, Deji Elerewe, Rhys Browne, Josh Umerah). Also, to get a Wealdstone team playing better than most would think, would mean creating a strong togetherness within the squad, which I think he will create over time. Matty Saunders said in his interview with Tom Williams, that he would phone players personally to explain to them why they weren't in the matchday squad. People can have their doubts still about him, due to last season, which is fine. I had my doubts through the end of the last season too. However when people come out and talk rubbish for the sake of their agenda, that's when it's ridiculous. Like mentioning the fact he says "management team" a lot. There's no constructive analysis or criticism given for the positives or negatives.

@StanfordPie I think I would sign one more centre-back, who is right footed. I heard we were interested in Riley Harbottle

Another one from the suggestions list ???? Seriously though, what a signing

Since last Sunday evening/Monday morning I've had trouble breathing out. It's taking a lot of effort to breathe out. My heart feels like it's beating quickly and sometimes I don't even manage to breathe out properly. I did vape once last Saturday, but I don't think it's that because it's been a week now and I've only ever done it once before. I do have asthma, but that has been settled for a few years and my inhaler hasn't made a difference to these breathing difficulties. I'm thinking it may be my anxiety, but a panic attack shouldn't last this long. The only way I seem to overcome it is if I do a big yawn. I went to the doctors and the doctor checked my blood pressure, my pulse, temperature and checked my heart beat and chest for when I breathe in and out, and he reassured me that things were ok. Has anyone had anything like this before and what is a solution? Thank you

His 2023-24 stats PLD 43 Accurate passes - 1,019/1,474 (69.1%) Accurate long balls - 98 Tackles won - 47 Clearances - 196 Headed clearances - 104 Recoveries - 189 Ground duels won - 94/155 (60.7%) Aerial duels won - 132/236 (55.9%)

I've now made this into a thread

His stats from the 2023-24 season PLD 40 Accurate passes - 1,073/1,514 (70.9%) Accurate long balls - 79 Tackles won - 30 Clearances - 145 Headed clearances - 84 Recoveries - 193 Ground duels won - 83/143 (58%) Aerial duels won - 119/207 (57.5%)

So, played 19, won 5, drew 3, lost 11, gf29, ga34. Not great. It's fair to say we've all got our opinion of Stuart's first few months at the Lane, some more warm and some cold. By all means, the results haven't been good enough and neither have quite a few of the performances. However, there is a few things to take encouragement, especially our form from MK onwards and bits said at the fans forum. Overall though, things must pick up if we are to challenge for automatic promotion. Scott Lindsey's record after the season he kept Crawley up was: won 6, drew 6, lost 10, gf22, ga32. Then look at them after he had a summer to recruit and look where they are now. To be honest, I've spent the whole month of May evaluating whether Maynard can take us forward. I needed to just forget about the comments on social media in the last few months and pick it apart myself. He walked into a difficult phase. He took over from a beloved figure at the club, who gave us the season of a lifetime. However, the team had been conceding goals for fun for many months. Sutton (5), Colchester (5), Mansfield (4), Wimbledon (4), Harrogate (3), Tranmere (4), Grimsby (5). Even the games we didn't concede 3 or more in were still silly. Donny away. O'Brien, not clearing it in added time, leads to us losing our clean sheet. The 2nd goal against Wrexham (H), both goals against Bradford (H), both goals against Walsall (H). Simple things in the build up or at crucial moments. Even the FGR home game when we won to go top, we were poor, showing the owners were correct at the fans forum about us not performing at a good enough level to challenge for promotion, over the whole season. The biggest concern for me, when he was appointed, was the step up. You're coming from a side who were punching above their weight and finishing mid table and flirting with the play-offs on occasions, to a side wanting to challenge for promotion in League 2. It's a big leap. In his time at Wealdstone, he helped develop players and improve their game. This includes: George Wickens, Sam Howes, Jed Ward, Harry Isted, Riley Harbottle, Charlie Barker, Miguel Freckleton, Deji Elerewe, Jacob Mendy, Aaron Henry, Ashley Charles, Rhys Browne, Sean Adarkwa, Tahvon Campbell and Josh Umerah. You don't improve players' ability if you're not a good coach. Harbottle is now in the SPL, Howes in League 1, Ward is Bristol Rovers' number 1, Mendy and Isted are both in league 1. Rhys Browne got a move to Woking off of the back of his impressive form. The signing of Matty Platt offers real encouragement to me. The fact we can take an out of contract player and convince him we are a better place to play football than Bradford shows we have the pull and that Stuart can attract them players, despite only previously managing in non league. The fact he's not just coached that Wealdstone team to play and finish above where people expect them, but also getting the best out of them whilst being semi-pro and having limited time in training and in video analysis sessions, shows there must be a good motivator in there. A good man manager. This was also mentioned in Tom Williams' interview with Matty Saunders. Don't get me wrong, he's got and said things wrong as you'd expect. His subs haven't been great in some games (not helped by poor squad depth due to recruitment) and his post or pre match comments haven't been what I've been seeing on the pitch. I'd just like to see him go into depth a bit more and say when things are poor. I know he wants to protect the players but when we haven't played well (Crewe, Salford, FGR, Gillingham) then say it how it is. However, he's right about us not being countered on as much, how we need more structure, how the problems were here before he came in and that we haven't got the required height or physicality to compete. There is a good head coach in there and I just hope he can succeed. Whether some of us feel good going into next season with him in charge or not, we all want him to succeed because that's what we want for Notts.

Understandable. It's his hometown club and Barrow have a reputation for buying from non-league and developing players. Although the guy who helped that process has now left (Pete Wild)

I've now put the right-wing backs into a thread if anyone's interested

At a random guess... 24/25: 6th in League 2 (POW) 25/26: 15th in League 1 26/27: 12th in League 1 27/28: 10th in League 1 28/29: 5th in League 1

I've now put this out as a thread on Twitter