In a shock announcement, our Mexican correspondent can reveal that next seasons sponsors are........Zimmer Frame.

Their spokesman said

"We are delighted to be working with Notts County......our objective at the beginning of the year was to maximise sales to the over-sixties as well as break into the Football scene; so by collaborating with Notts we believe this venture will maximise revenue and deliver results. We cannot wait for next season to kick off and will have company representatives at each game offering free consultations to anybody who is struggling to walk.”

Zimmer Frame faced stiff competition from Saga Holidays, Stannah Stairlifts and Werther’s Original,.......... but won the contract after Notts duo Alan Smith (78) and Roy Carroll (69) visited their store .........................and were blown away by the product range.

For the past five years Notts attendances had remained reasonably stable, despite plummeting to the bottom of division 4......particularly the numbers in the Pavis stand.

At one point rumours were circulating that some of the crowd were actually dead......but weren't being removed in order to boost attendances.

However, following some market research it came to light that it is simply a matter of the Notts crowd consisting of old age pensioners who couldn't walk home.......and that is when Zimmer Frame "stepped in".

When asked if they were concerned over the rumours about El Chapo taking control of Notts and their brand name being tarnished, their spokesperson said, "El Chapo has come highly recommended by Tarquin, a man who also fits our age profile nicely, and he has assured us that our deal with Notts is a sound investment"

We will keep you informed on any further exciting developments as we get them.

'El loco Munto' provided its not red, fans won't mind. Ha ha!!

I'd be tempted to get a couple in on trial and play them at the back, got to be more mobile than our back four. Shame our new sponsors aren't motability.

lol!!

@tarquinbeech if its the pavis stand, they probs are.