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Why are people always unkind to Donkeys?

Donkeys appear to be quite intelligent, cautious, friendly, & eager to learn. They are also very hard working, dependable & loyal. 

They are also known for their determination & self preservation. Some of the traits that I would like to see in a footballer.

Guy Branston was a rock in my Notts team on Football Manager. He captained the team to promotion and was one of the first names on the team sheet.

So I was thrilled when we signed him in real life. Finally the no-nonsense defender we needed. He spent 45 minutes losing his man and kicking the ball into the air, got subbed off at half time and spent the rest of his loan "injured", thus going down in Notts folklore in a different way.

He was a decent player in his prime though, who made hundreds of League appearances and played in the Championship. We've had many other players who played far more games for us but were never close to League standard.

I’ll never forget that 45 minutes Branston played what a disaster. As @Robbie says to compare him to a donkey is unkind to donkeys.

Tough one, sadly there lots of candidates to pick from. 2004-2008 the League 1 relegation season and the League 2 relegation season are peak times for really bad players for me. I’ll go for Christian Oxlade-Chamberlain, felt like he got sent off almost every time he played and in his few, winless, appearances.

Credit to @ARLukomski

Guy Branston, terrible player, even worse head of transfers or whatever he was.

I had a hatred for Garry Thompson for being utterly useless. I didn't enjoy Alan Smith whilst he was here as he was immobile, but that's not his fault, more the manager who played him.

People tend to say Caskey is the worst, mainly because he just didn't use the obvious talent he had. For me, because he's just a horrid human, it goes to Tom Williams.

Its got to be Guy Branston he lasted one half of a match before he was hauled off, never to be seen again if I remember right.

Branston will take some beating.

So many others over the years. A fairly recent one for me would be Connor Lemonheigh-Evans, who maybe never found a Notts shirt with a pass in the few games he played for us.

Bob Catlin was a classic crap goalkeeper. Not sure why we even signed him. Conceded 8 in 3 games. Had the build of a Sunday league player. His home debut against Barnsley was almost funny. I think he just got his coat and left after that.

Thought Guy Branston would be a dead cert for me but with it being a key position think I’ll plump for Roos, just dreadful in my opinion

There is a long list to choose from if you apply the “must have started at least 3 ganes” criteria.

The worst 45 mins ever is Branston, that is undeniable and unequivocal. It was straight out of pantomime, farce and slapstick comedy.

The list of contenders overall, from the hard 25 years alone is enormous tho’.

I think we'd all probably agree that in our lifetimes it has to be someone from the five pre-Munto seasons starting in 2004/05. If you stood out as bad in that period you were something special. Not hacking it in the National League would in theory be worse but we actually had better teams then.

So maybe one of the, in inverted commas, 'strikers', or one of the couldn't-give-a-toss loanees from that period? I didn't attend much then so others may be able to pick out a winner.

Fully agree @Sheffield Pie, the teams we fielded pre-Munto were worse than anything we had in the National League. If we'd gone down then, it would have been a long, hard road back.

Two names spring to mind. One is Andy White, a striker who previously played up the A60. And the other is Danny Stone, a full back who played an inexplicable number of games for us before vanishing into non-league. But there must be loads of others I've forgotten.

I wouldn't say Roos @nottsnutter, we've had worse keepers than him. He can at least do the flashy reaction saves without really mastering the basics of catching the ball. We've had some who can do neither.

While I'm being cruel, does anyone remember the crap Scottish midfielder we had under Jocky Scott, the one with the Lego hair? Always the first name on the team sheet. If he'd been any slower he'd have been running backwards.