Wheelbarrow repair man

While walking through my Local Town Centre I saw this Scruffy Shabby dressed bloke with long lank dirty hair . He sat down and started to tune a Battered Old Guitar, then he sang When I was young It seemed that Life was wonderful A Miracle Oh it was Beautiful, Magical I said Hey that's Supertramp He replied Cheers Mate.

I think your right Robbie. But Don't Call Me Shirley. Sorry couldn't Resist.

In our local village we would always see the Vicar riding around on his bike chatting to people helping with any problems villagers may have. Well one morning I came across the Reverend walking along the Street. Morning Vicar I said where's your bike? I'm afraid it's been stolen. Oh Dear I replied May I give you some advice Reverend? Yes please do. Well next Sunday make your Sermon about the Ten Commandments and when you get to Thou shall Not Steal stop and have a Good look round the congregation and who ever looks guilty, that's your thief. Thankyou I'll try that said the Vicar. So the following Sunday we're all in Church and the Reverend gave his Sermon on the Ten Commandments, but instead of stopping and looking round at Thou shall Not Steal he carried on. Well after the service we thanked the Vicar his sermon and I said Vicar you didn't stop when you got to Thou Shall Not Steal. I know he whispered But when I got to Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery I remembered where I'd Left My Bike.

And Yet Robbie watching them you'd think they didn't care because they seem to think their Two Year Contracts will keep them Safe and at the Lane for the foreseeable Future. What they Need to Know is just Because they signed a New Contract it doesn't Guarantee them their Future is with Notts.

The Wife had bought herself a New Pair of Jeans, she stood in front of the Bedroom Mirror and of course I get the Usual Question. Do these Jeans make my Bum look Big? No Sweetheart Chips Crisps and Chocolate make your Bum Look Big.

I was thrown Out of Weight Watches for making sarcastic remarks at the weekly Weigh In. You can Imagine I took it with Huge Grace. Because they threw her out as well. I had Stew & Dumplings last night. I shouldn't call Her That But She is A Big Girl.

Give the Youngsters A Go at least they'll be more enthusiastic than some of the Present Team Members, they'll want to go out and Prove a Point and make an impression along with Playing For The Shirt.

Robbie It's a Shame you're Not 40 years younger and the Captain of the Magpies, reading your comment shows what is lacking at the Lane at the moment. Every Player should look at himself in the Mirror and ask am I doing the Best I can? Because after all those players owe their livelihood to us the Fans and as you say they should leave everything on the Pitch, and if Notts go down at least they should go down fighting. But having No Leadership on the Pitch and a Dithering Head Coach who makes strange team selections and subs his Top Players and then states the Team played well in after match interviews well it would appear All Hope Is Lost. Notts are Crying Out for a Manager (Not Head Coach) who will grab the Squad by the throat shaking it and Tell Players If They Don't Buck Their Ideas UP then they wont be playing the following Saturday. I Will Admit it's to late for this season, but Next is a whole New Ball Game. (Pun Intended). The Manager and Captain should work together, the Manager tells the team how he wants the team to play and the Captain enforces his plan on the Pitch, but is also allowed to change things around if he feels certain parts of a Game Plan isn't Working.

A a White Horse walks into a bar and orders a Whiskey. What type of Whiskey? ask the Barman. We've got Teachers, Bells Whyte & McKay and even one named after you. What says the Horse Eric?

Lets Stop Pretending Notts have Head Coach who hasn't Got a Clue, a Defence who Can't Defend and a Game Plan That Doesn't Work. Need I Go On? It doesn't matter who Maynard Picks it seems the Players don't want to Play for him, so No Matter what the Result is on Monday Maynard Needs To Be Gone by Tuesday Morning. Offer Jim O'Brien the Head Coach job till the end of the season hopefully he'll help the Players get some of their Dignity back and Start Playing for the Shirt. The Attendance on Monday will be Interesting and the Atmosphere will BE TOXIC and If the Owners are at the game maybe they'll understand they've made a Mistake in Hiring a Part Time Head Coach who is Totally Out Of His Depth. That's NOT to say I'm having a Go at the Brothers it's just I hope they realise, in Football you Can't Get Everything Right and Mistakes Will Be Made.

IT was said by Oliver Cromwell to Parliament and I'll say it to Stuart Maynard. IN THE NAME OF GOD GO.

It all Depends how the Magpies fair at Swindon. However even if Notts do manage to grab all three points against the Robins, I think it will take a Huge Effort to get any sort of result versus MK Dons. Notts 0-3 MK Dons. Always Happy to be Proven Wrong.

This Chap rings his employer up and says Boss I can't come in today I'm full of Cold. You have to replies his Boss we need to get this order out on time and I need everybody here. But I do feel lousy Boss. Do you know what I do when I'm not very Well? I get hold of my wife and give her a Good Seeing Too. Try that. Ok Boss I'll give it ago. Just at the end of the Dinner Hour the Bloke who's ill manages to stagger into work. Great You Made it say s the Boss, You Did What I told you to Do then. I certainly did Boss, and can I just say You've Got A Lovely House.

I hope you're wrong Robbie regarding Maynard swapping things around over the Weekend, that's all well and Good but if Notts Do pull off a Victory at Swindon and he changes the line up Monday and the Magpies Lose, All Hell Wil Break Loose. He's on a Hiding to Nothing realistically only Two Victories will ease the pressure on Maynard and his coaching Staff.

Well I certainly hope Notts can get some sort of a Result Tomorrow, because in all honesty I can't see the Magpies getting anything against MK Dons and Maynard's first Home Win will go on another week. I'd be more than Pleased to be Proven Wrong.

I was chatting to a Mate the other day and he seemed a bit worried I've got this problem, I've got this Rash up the inside of both my thighs and it goes up around me Private Parts. Have you shown a your Doctor? Yes What did he say? Ring the Surgery for an appointment next Thursday. Then he carried on Shopping with his Wife.

I was in the kitchen the other morning and a found a piece of folded paper on the Kitchen table. I opened it up and read Mop floor cleaner washing up liquid soft cloth and sponge . I thought bloody hell it's the wife's Bucket List

I went with my mate to a Bunjee Jump for Charity, one chap there was Blind and he was going to jump! How brave is that? The thing is have you ever heard a Labrador Scream? Two Caterpillar's walking along a cabbage leaf and a Butterfly go's past. One Caterpillar says to the other You'd Never Get Me Up in one of those things. Then there was the Slug who got Mugged by two snails. The Police asked him what happened? To which the Slug replied I don't know it was all over so quickly. I went to the Vet and said I'm worried about my Cat. Is it a Tom? asked the Vet. No I've brought it with me.

I'd keep Jatta and Macca up front because seems that Didzy isn't yet up to full fitness so having him on the bench ready to come on would be a better choice. With Jodi on the Left and Nemane and Crowley on the right as I think those two play together well, where as Jodi and Crowley don't Gel when playing on the right as other people on this site have stated.

The wife comes down the stairs and says Look what I found in the wardrobe, I wore this on our first ever date and it's still fits. I looked at her and said Sweetheart it's a Scarf. Why is it the wife always asks you things you've got No Answer for. Take the other day she walks into the Kitchen while I'm having me Breakfast, Look at me, Just Look at me. What's up? I ask I'm only having a Fat Ugly Day. What do you say? Well Don't Go Out Then.

What's interesting is reading posts by Swindon Fans it seems their defence is worst than Notts, now that takes a lot of doing. If that is the case then the Magpies need to come of the Traps at full speed and put them under pressure from the first whistle. Agreed the team that played at Bradford would be a good choice, but will Maynard pick it or will he start faffing around with the Line up again? It's hard to tell what his thinking will be So For Pity's and our sake leave things alone and give the players the Freedom to play and the chance to get their dignity back and while you're at Maynard have a couple of our young un's on the Bench.

I remember when I was a young lad me and some pals went to this shall we say Dance Club. Anyway me and the guys were sat at the front when one the Dancers came on stage and she starts wiggling her behind at me in her hand she had a riding crop and she said Do you wanna whip it, while still wiggling her behind. I said You What? She said Do You Wanna Whip It? I said Well I wouldn't Mind. Now I've got this little Greyhound to look after.

If Helen of Troy's face Launched a thousand ships. It must have been one hell of Mess once they'd finished.

My Son and me were just leaving our Local when we heard a squeal of brakes a car's horn and an exchange of swear words. What had happened a Drunk had staggered out of the Pub straight into the road, and had been missed being hit by a car by an hair's breath. No sooner had the Drunk got back on the pavement he only turns round and staggers back into the road again. Once again he's just misses being ran over. He stood there swearing and sticking two fingers up at the driver. Hey Pal my Son shouts There's a Zebra Crossing a short way up the road. Well I hope it'd having better Luck than me said the Drunk.

This little lad and his Mum go to the pictures and they sit down in front of a courting couple, anyway the film starts and the little lad starts looking over his shoulder at the guy and his girlfriend sitting behind him and his Mum., His Mum whispers turn round and watch the film, which he does for a few minutes, then he peeps over his shoulder at the couple again and once again his Mum tells him to turn round and watch the film. Then for the third time the kid looks behind him and his Mum says I wont tell you again, if you turn round one more time I'm taking you home. The Kid looks at his Mum and says can I tell you what they're talking about Mum? Certainly not replies his Mum. Well they were only talking about Soap. Soap? says his Mum. Yeah replies the Kid. He said Put this in Your Palm Olive and she said Not on Your Life Boy.