Tarquins Top Tips

[Tarkers]

As some may know....I am a bit of an oddball....I live alone in a 16 bedroom ex-hotel up on the Mexican Altiplano, 4,500 above sea level.....I have built high block walls to the front and side, 10 foot steel gates with spikes guard the driveway, barbed wire fences guard the rear fields................I talk to myself (plus my sheep and goats).......this forum may keep me sane...mmmmmm

Being new to the site, I thought I would have a bit of fun by sharing a Top Tip every week.....every Tip is true, I promise.

Tip One - How Not To Get Kidnapped.

If you read the news, people go missing here all the time. Two Aussie surfers went missing on the Pacific coast a few weeks ago in Sinola....I think their bodies have now been found.

43 student teachers went missing off a bus that was stopped by "police"?

Just a few months ago, four people went missing here from the local town......body parts have been found, with the usual notes attached claiming responsibility.

Nobody really knows the total numbers because the press rarely report all the incidents......10,000 a year?.....20,000?

Firstly, obviously try not to go out too often....and never at night after 10pm.

Stick to main roads, Pemex Stations have forecourt cameras, most big restaurants have cameras (good idea to check before selecting it as your Favourite), my bank here has double security doors so that the camera can get pics before the second door opens, make sure you leave a "camera trail" for the authorities to follow.

Never carry too much money, no rings, no watches.......I let my hair grow shaggy, stop shaving occasionally......wear ripped soiled jeans.....my personal favorite is mumble to yourself while passing "spotters", sometimes I hum a poor rendition of Dambusters and put on a slight limp or stagger.

Lastly, I carry plastic bags and occasionally stop to collect plastic bottles and assorted rubbish like a hobo.

So far it has worked....coming up for 3 years in April and still have all my fingers and toes......if I suddenly stop posting....please have a whip-round..... hahaha

[Chris]

Ah, you've made me even more impatient about waiting for Narcos season 2 now (for which I should also point the finger at @hissingdwarf).

If you should happen to stop posting, hopefully it's due to being busy.

Ps. I bet you have some amazing scenery there though.

[Tarkers]

6 minutes ago, notts-joe said:

Ah, you've made me even more impatient about waiting for Narcos season 2 now (for which I should also point the finger at @hissingdwarf).

If you should happen to stop posting, hopefully it's due to being busy.

Ps. I bet you have some amazing scenery there though.

The Bridge......based on true incidents on the border between Mexico and USA and loosely based on Chapo Guzman.....26 episodes...completely addictive right from the opening scenes....superb haunting music....some of the episodes are plain scary whilst one scene made me howl with laughter (an American uses "The Narco Tunnel" to smuggle his own drugs and bumps into Chapo Guzman dragging a body back the other way.....hilarious....."Good Evening" was all Chapo said.....I was gritting my teeth waiting for the blood to start)

Episode 1

http://www.primewire.ag/external.php?title=The+Bridge+%28US%29&url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5wcm9tcHRmaWxlLmNvbS9sLzFDOTlCQUVBQUItNjYxM0Q5NzlBNw==&domain=cHJvbXB0ZmlsZS5jb20=&loggedin=0

[liampie]

i have a sneaky suspicion you will be safer there! i am surprised @notts-joe did not say you would be safe from zombies also!! lol

[Feral Fox]

2 hours ago, notts-joe said:

Ah, you've made me even more impatient about waiting for Narcos season 2 now (for which I should also point the finger at @hissingdwarf).

If you should happen to stop posting, hopefully it's due to being busy.

Ps. I bet you have some amazing scenery there though.

Always blaming someone else @notts-joe.

 

It seems to me with all the not shaving, wearing strange clothes, mumbling to yourself etc... @notts-joe you would fit right in!!!

[Tarkers]

4 hours ago, notts-joe said:

4 hours ago, notts-joe said:

Ah, you've made me even more impatient about waiting for Narcos season 2 now (for which I should also point the finger at @hissingdwarf).

If you should happen to stop posting, hopefully it's due to being busy.

Ps. I bet you have some amazing scenery there though.

Ah, you've made me even more impatient about waiting for Narcos season 2 now (for which I should also point the finger at @hissingdwarf).

If you should happen to stop posting, hopefully it's due to being busy.

Ps. I bet you have some amazing scenery there though.

I took this pic back in May 2013....the land is dead, the soil is a white alkaline-type called Calcite or Caliche.....I have 10 acres of it....grrrr

Total rainfall about 16 inches per year.

This next pic is the same 1 acre field from last week......"mob grazed" it with 4 sheep , 5 goats and 12 chickens.......no water for over a month now here but masses and masses of free manure.....they get let in at 10am and shut out at 5pm, 365 days a year.....only another 9 acres to sort out now I have got the hang of it......hard work putting all the fences up on my own.....but I love it

[super_ram]

The glass looks inviting.

[Tarkers]

3/4 Indio...plus a 1/4 lemonade (my own special recipe from my lemon trees).....makes the weekends a lot less painful!!

[GrannyPie]

17 hours ago, super_ram said:

The glass looks inviting.

 

17 hours ago, tarquinbeech said:

3/4 Indio...plus a 1/4 lemonade (my own special recipe from my lemon trees).....makes the weekends a lot less painful!!

Trust @super_ram to comment on the beer

[Joe Jones]

Wow, I wouldn't mind a couple weeks away from the hustle and bustle of the UK - looks so nice and peaceful (though I may also be tempted to have stopovers in Cancun and Tijuana as well)  

[tucsonan]

Dude I've been to Mexico a whole bunch of times. Mostly Nogales cos it's a border town only about 90 miles south of Tucson.

 

I've met some really cool folk down there, but it's not a place I could live and feel comfortable in.

 

[liampie]

where have you gone @tarquinbeech? 

[Tarkers]

18 hours ago, liampie said:

where have you gone @tarquinbeech? 

Still here......I read the site every day but I don't log on unless I have something intelligent to say....hahaha

One thing I will say, being a "new boy", is how impressed I am with the site.....it has taken me a while to figure out my way around but I am slowly getting the hang of it!

[Feral Fox]

1 hour ago, tarquinbeech said:

Still here......I read the site every day but I don't log on unless I have something intelligent to say....hahaha

One thing I will say, being a "new boy", is how impressed I am with the site.....it has taken me a while to figure out my way around but I am slowly getting the hang of it!

Out of interest, as a new boy as you put it, @tarquinbeech What would make it easier to navigate the site? We often forget how the site will work and look to newbies so it'll be interesting to hear how you have transitioned from 'beyond the gates of hell aka mad' to here!

Things such as what you found difficult to find, go back to, easier ways to find things you use etc...all good points if you wouldn't mind, don't you think @notts-joe?