A well deserved 1-1 draw in the red inflatable dinghy means that Gladbach's record against the leather-trousered ones over the last 10 matches is:

Won 4, Drawn 3, Lost 3, For 15, Against 13

Bayern are not as good as people think!

Notts County Reserves take on @GatesheadFC at Meadow Lane on Weds 2pm - £3 Adults, £1 Conc. 1pt will win the @FinalThirdDevLg East title!

COYP

And.... For your JJ bonus (who needs Brucey)
 

Mark Cooper has recently identified the reason for our sporadic run of results.......niggling knocks picked up in training.

To combat this problem, he has instructed all players to attend training......coated in bubble-wrap!

After today's training, Mark was quoted as saying:

"Things got off to a poor start, when two of the players turned up in shrink-wrap! They obviously didn't read the e-mail correctly....or they're just plain stupid, I'm not too sure"

Both players were sent home again, with Mark saying ................................"They were both past their sell-by date anyway"

One of the other issues was the players inner-thighs sticking together as they ran!

Again Mark resolved the issue by greasing them up with a mixture of WD40 and cooking lard!

"That resolved the issue, but there was a curious aroma of chips cooking in a motorcycle workshop......it actually made me quite peckish" said the smiling manager.

There was only one reported injury during the session......when Izale McClod sustained 3rd degree burns.

Mark said "It's his fault. I've told him to stop throwing himself to the floor in the penalty area, but no....he never listens."

"On his 19th attempt at perfecting his "dying swan" impression, the plastic bubble-wrap caught fire due to friction........actually it is the fastest I've seen him move, as he sprinted for a fire extinguisher"

"I think I'll set fire to him during the next home game" said a serious-looking Cooper

Here's the design I made for the special occasion.

I saw someone mention on twitter that Cooper would want to bring him to notts, he is a free agent and cooper has said there's some very good players that will be free this summer.

This is obviously a rumour but I was interested what people would think of him playing for us?

He obviously has some talent as he has played at the top and recently he's said he wants to turn his career around. Lee Hughes was hardly and angel and look how good he was for us!

Wes Morgan

Darren Huckerby

Will Hoskins

David McGoldrick and Leon Best I believe were sold when we were in administration

The formula of success on paper looks an easy thing to discuss, getting it right in the real world is another question - but there are certain things which scream major "no, no's" when it comes to bringing success to a football club. Certainly, seeing too many changes leads to instability, but lets discuss how success can be introduced to a club like Notts County.

What would be the top of your priority list in order to achieve this? Name five things in order of importance.

For me,

1) A reputable manager who knows how to apply tactics, find the right players for his system and understand how opposition teams play.
2) Keep the squad size to a number whereby all players can feature, 26 would be about my limit.
3) Sign the better players from the teams around us that struggle - so look at their player of the season, captains, technically grounded players for the division you play.
4) Get fans on side - (good ticket prices, a good feel factor around the ground, half time entertainment etc)
5) Look at ways of bringing in good investment (not a simple thing by no means).

And you??

With 2 more days still to go to the Spring Equinox, the sun has now returned to the North Pole for 6 months of constant sunshine.

What will the sun reveal?.......over 1,295,000 sq km of sea ice is missing from the average!......1.295 MILLION.

This figure is quite simply stunning, and on the Climate Change forum that I frequent, scientists are frantically reaching for their calculators to work out how much EXTRA heat will now be absorbed into northern seas.....quite simply, ice reflects the suns rays whereas blue/green water absorbs it.

So we now have a rapidly warming world where the IPCC targets of 1.5 to 2 degrees of warming will be smashed within 20 years instead of 80 years.....and now we have the Arctic literally baking in sunshine.

.....and the UK is to increase the price of Solar panels by moving the VAT from 5% to 20%......absolute madness.

Unfortunately the West don't seem to care, "I'm alright Jack" appears to be the mantra.....meanwhile hundreds of thousands of people surviving in marginal land in Africa and Asia will starve this year....we could have sorted out this problem 30 years ago......maybe we will finally do something, especially when they all try to get to Europe!!

http://arctic.atmos.uiuc.edu/cryosphere/

Sorry I'm a bit later than usual posting this, had a busy few days! 

Saturday's fixtures: 

Brentford v Fulham

Sheffield Wednesday v Cardiff City

Burton Albion v Gillingham

Scunthorpe United v Port Vale

Cambridge United v Plymouth Argyle

Stevenage v AFC Wimbledon

For anyone of my age, a favorite viewing was watching the weekly antics of potential escapees from Stalag Colditz.....and the ingenious methods used.

Picture, in your mind, Meadow Lane as Colditz......the music plays, the cameras zoom in......all is quiet as the German Camp Commander sounds the klaxon for morning roll-call.

Nothing....silence.

Slightly concerned, the commander and his guards start opening doors....nothing, nobody.

Finally they find one person, huddled beneath an army-issue blanket.....sat alone in the corner of a room.

"Ver is everyone?" (spoken in my best German accent)

"Ver is Rodders and Winters, ......ver is the new Media guy?, ..........ver is Hughsey and Spencer, Schmeichel and Bart, Judge and Davis, Bajner and Showunmi"

His voice starts to get louder, concerned that the whole camp has escaped

"Ver is Cotterill, Allen, Short, Kiwomya, Curle....Derry and Abbott?".......panic starts to set in.......

"Goddamn it man, ver is the Dutch prisoner Herr Moniz?...or the Camp Jester, Fullarton....we cannot even find the new guy Coops?"

The face beneath the blanket turns slowly towards the camera

"They have all escaped...........there is just me left" uttered the lonely figure

The Camp Commander looks closer into the drawn features of a troubled man......"Who are you?"

"My name is The Phoenix.....I am the escape co-ordinator!!"

"Why are you still here....all alone?" asks the Commander.

"Don't you start" .........said The Phoenix as he turns back to stare at the wall.

I'm unsure if someone has made a topic on this before!

But stickers! Who collects them ?

There's something fun about getting the shinys and rubbing it in your friends face!

Anyone for swapsies ? [emoji6]

Game 45 - The Exiles (A)

Team: Newport County

Date: 30/04/16

Where: Rodney Parade

What line-up should Mark Cooper opt for? What will be the key areas for the Magpies to get a victory? What do you think the final score will be?

Have your say below, join in with the Pride of Nottingham match discussion.

After @Altin Lala joined the board I got thinking. Lala was a real-life footballer who played for Hannover 96 a few years ago and happens to share his name with a teletubby.

Can you think of any footballers with brilliant, unusual and amusing names?

I'll start off with Waldhof Mannheim's new signing Freddy Mombongo, who really does come from the Congo and will spark memories of a certain soft drink in many of us.

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Following the decision by the Argentinian side, Tigres, to offer micro-chipping of fans instead of season tickets......I think it would be a great idea to offer this facility to Notts fans.

There are literally stacks of benefits, of which I will put forward just a sample.

No more losing your season ticket (or "loaning" your OAPs card to your 17 year-old nephew, Bert, and not getting it back)....just a simple chip placed under the skin.

Obviously if you lose your arm whilst trying to steal that "left-over" suitcase in Brussels Airport....it's your fault!

No more wandering around aimlessly on Match Days in Forest Fields, pretending to ask 19 year-old girls for "directions".....the Club are alerted to your absence and a Black Van sent to collect you and bring you to the ground.

This facility could be extended to non-Match Days where families could track the whereabouts of Uncle Cedric, who, smelling strongly of pee, was last seen "escorting a young man home" from the Plumtree Arms on Sunday night!

When you apply for your chip, you complete a questionnaire, giving various details that the Club can use to improve your Matchday Experience.

Using that info...my day would proceed like this:

Scan your arm at the turnstile....first attempt reveals that I am a tin of Aldi beans, circa 1963 and priced at 7 pence in proper money.....a young girl races over and politely shaves my inner arm, wipes away the perspiration and dabs the skin with Old Spice.

On the second attempt I am correctly identified as Lord Tarquin of Netherfield, a bottle of chilled Chablis is brought over to the VIP area and a spotty youth scuttles away to polish my chair (a preference I put on my application form, following a visit to Camden Yards in Baltimore)

My chip has automatically triggered these events, behind the scenes a Chef is lightly poaching my quails eggs and the fridges are being checked to ensure my 8 pints of bottled Old Thumper are cool enough.

I am given a copy of the team-sheet, and notice my suggestion of playing 2-2-6 has been taken on-board, and my Ladbrokes receipt for a Scorecast of 9-5 is attached.

The whole day is literally perfect and I smile contentedly as I enter the taxi awaiting me outside the Lawton Bar.

"Netherfield please" I say......................................."but make a brief detour to Forest Fields!!"

As the title says: who should be our player of the season?

2016 has seen some sad loses to the entertainment world, no doubt the biggest surprises came from the recent news that Prince had passed a way.

It may come across as morbid.

I wonder which shocked PON members the most? All pictured above deeply saddened me but I was shocked to learn about Prince

Magpies Fans,

We are holding our next Football in the Community fundraiser next week, Thursday 28th April, and we'd love you to attend and help support our work and have a great evening.

Hosted at Castle Rock's Poppy & Pint pub in Lady Bay, Colin Slater & Les Bradd will compere an evening with Wembley Winners Tommy Johnson, Kevin Bartlett & Mark Draper 

as we take a trip down memory lane to relive some of the best times from the 1989/1990 and 1990/1991 back to back promotions.  The player will share stories from these seasons

and answer a Q and A with fans in an informal evening with the stars.  The evening will also include live music from local act Steve McGill and a raffle to win a replica shirt signed by 

many of the promotion teams 25 years on.  Doors open at 19:30 and the evening will run until around 22:00.

Proceeds go towards supporting FITC's working-age dementia project within the local community and tickets are only £10 (+£1 booking fee).

We hope to see you there for this memorable and historic evening.  Tickets can be purchased online here: https://www.gigantic.com/an-evening-with-the-wembley-winners-notts-county-poppy-and-pint-2016-04-28-19-00

Or please call 0115 955 7215 if you'd rather pay on the night.

Thanks for your support and to those who wished us well at Mansfield on Saturday after our sponsored walk.  

Been reading about the behaviour of a few of the fans at the game , they need to be identified and punished for bringing the name of our club , a family club , into a bad light ,  seems to be doubts if they were notts fans at all , or maybe just yobs our for a fight , identify and ban if they are , we don't need that behaviour with everything else going on as well . Thoughts 

The DHSS are said to be looking at prosecuting Raheem Sterling tonight after the man nicknamed "Sick-Note" was called upon by Man City to run around aimlessly for 15 minutes v Real Madrid.

Raheem has apparently been injured for 52 years.....and been successfully claiming Disability Living Allowance for all that time.

When interviewed by the DHSS after the game a shocked Raheem made this statement...."I am as shocked as you that Pellegrini told me to strip off and pretend to be fit.......... Everyone knows I'm permanently sick or injured.....in fact I've made a very successful career out of being bed-bound. ................My solicitors are looking into the case"

Nice to see that Colby grabbed both goals today for the reserves in their win over Gateshead. Hopefully he has benefitted from his loan spell at Gloucester and can make the move up to challenging for the first XI.

Also, if the reserves win their last game of the season, they will be champs of their division, which will be at least one piece of good news in what has been a dismal season!

Luther Wildin has been given a pro contract by the club, I've heard good things about him in the reserves! Anyone seen him play ?

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/live/2016/apr/26/hillsborough-disaster-inquest-jury-returns-verdict-live-updates

This confirms what most of us already knew but finally the 96 have been exonerated. They were just ordinary people like you or me. No one should go to a football game and lose their life. I remember that day clearly. Those TV images will stay with me forever. The system failed these fans, it's not about blame, it's about justice and finally the football community and most importantly the families have their justice. We'll move on now but we'll never forget. 

There's a big weekend coming up at the top of the Premier League so I thought it'd be interesting to get your thoughts - who will be lifting the trophy come May?

I think we all WANT Leicester to do it. It would certainly be the most surprising triumph of my lifetime, made all the more thrilling by the prevelance of serious money at the top of the game. They have a settled, confident team, the league's top scorer, no matches against fellow challengers after Arsenal and no cup distractions. But do they have the depth and experience? One or two injuries could seriously derail them. Can they handle the pressure?

Man City are the only team at the top with real experience in a title race, and they have European football and an upcoming change at the top to contend with. Arsenal could close to within two points if they win on Sunday, but they're serial bottlers. Spurs are well-positioned to capitalise if Leicester stutter, but they haven't won a title in donkey's years - will they choke with the finish line in sight? I put United in for a laugh.

What do you all think?