The future of my YouTube channel

[ARLukomski]

I've been trying to get round to writing this and then put it up for a while, but me being me, has never got round to doing it.

I struggle with speeches like this and trying to find the right words at the right moments. That's why I tend to freeze in important moments. 

For a while now (and I mean a few years) I've been wondering whether or not to carry on with my YouTube channel and my matchday videos. I started them because YouTube looked fun and whilst I enjoyed it for a certain amount of time, it got to a point where my motivation dipped dramatically and others (I tend to compare myself to others a lot even though I know it won't help) were and still are producing much better content. Summed up by the fact I didn't even bother to edit or upload the last two games of last season. 

I beat myself up over the smallest of mistakes and things can get to me quite easily. Whilst I should do it for the enjoyment and, I do get a modicum of enjoyment from time to time out of it, the low views, the Grimsby and Newport problems last season, the comment section after Donny and my mental health in general, coupled with my lack of motivation, really made me wonder/makes me wonder if I should bother carrying on.

I still get people tell me they watch my videos and they enjoy them and I sometimes still get noticed out and about or at games, and I even had someone ask for a selfie with me at The Nest a while back, but I can never convince myself that my content is actually good. I want to be good at something, I want to be skilled, I want to be talented. That would go someway for me to be able to live with myself and find inner peace. However it feels a long way off. I've always had that feeling of having no sense of achievement. So no matter what I accomplish, I will always dismiss it because, either others will judge it, I think other people will have done something better or that any other normal person could have accomplished what I've done.

I've always thought, if I quit, what would others think? A lot of people don't know me well enough to know why I am like I am. I haven't reached the stage of being comfortable enough to open up about my mental health. Would people still recognise me and see me for who I am, or would I just be a nobody? Would I still be relevant? Would people still see me as that YouTube guy? 

So I'm undecided. I've had this feeling inside of me and I've constantly questioned myself as to what the right choice is. I feel like I want to or need to pack it in but then it wouldn't feel right not doing what I have been doing for 8½ years and what I'm sort of known for doing. It takes a lot to give up something like this as it's been a big part of my life for almost a decade and part of me still wants to fight on. Something inside of me tells me there is something worth fighting for.

This is where you come in. It is no longer in my hands. It is in the hands of the people. I need reasons to carry on. Why you think it's worth it, what's good and not good and what can be improved? I need YOU to tell me it is worth carrying on and to convince me.

The feedback matters and I want you tell me honestly and to give me the reasons to carry on.

No matter what the decision though, please don't forget about me 

[Fan of Big Tone]

Blimey mate that must have been hard to write, I feel for you.

Personally I don’t look at a lot of vlogs about matches but I have seen yours on occasions and have thought them to be very good.

I wouldn’t try to compare yourself to others, some will be better, some will be worse the main thing is that if you enjoy doing it then do it for yourself, if you aren’t enjoying it anymore then stop doing it. It’s a question only you can answer really.

Not everyone can achieve great things try to be happy with what you are, you are unique, you are special, there’s no one else like you, be proud of yourself.

Above all you need some good friends/family around you who you can talk to about your mental health, don’t bottle things up, well done for speaking on here it always helps to talk about things.

[Wheelbarrow repair man]

I've watch a fair Few of your Video's and enjoyed them you Strike me as a an Ordinary Fan who wants to get his thoughts and Feelings across about his Favourite Team.  Your Straight Forward Nothing Fancy just giving an Honest Opinion. I Like That.

Regarding your You tube Channel I Think that as to be Your Choice and Yours Alone. Because if it's an Over whelming Yes Carry on from members on this site and you Carry on, but Don't Enjoy it, you may find you shift the Blame onto your Fellow Fans and that's No Good at all.

Maybe step back from You tube for a season or half a season, see how you feel, if it doesn't bother you and you feel happier without the Burden of putting the video's out there, then Quit. However if you watch a Match and feel the Urge that you need to Express your opinion on Certain Issues and you put out a video which is well received you may want to give You tube another Go. It's Really Up To You Mate.

[Robbie]

Just to let you know, I have always found your videos on Notts entertaining and informative put together by an ordinary Notts fan like yourself, who clearly loves his club.

I for one would certainly miss your input if it wasn't there & I'm sure many others would too, but you have to do what's best for you mate.

As Wheelbarrow repair man said, maybe step back from the videos for a while, or maybe do the occasional special until you decide what to do.

Your input on social media is always well informed & interesting, & you are a valuable member of PON too. 

Just an afterthought. What you give to your YouTube videos are the thoughts & opinions of a commited & loyal Notts County fan 

That's why people watch them because Notts fans can identify with your thoughts & feedback on what you are seeing & thinking from the terraces.

[Piethagoram]

I really enjoy with the respect and passion @ARLukomski displays

Notts coverage would be so much poorer without @ARLukomski input

[Chris]

Life is always more difficult than it appears via text and screen, I know this has been troubling you for some time.

I am also aware that you have an incredible passion for your content and talking about Notts, this is something you do well and put across your knowledge productively. You can develop burnouts from the demand, I did with Meet the Fans and much of the video content I used to do, but I would be lying if I didn't say I missed it. You've done right by putting yourself first at times, but as I have mentioned, it's only you who can decide about your channel's fate.

Taking a hiatus for a season wouldn't be a bad thing, the majority of fans would still be there when you return and a break could do you wonders.

You might feel the urge to continue vlogging with the promise of this upcoming season and there will always be disappointment one way or another. If Notts ends up having a good season, and you vlog - you will have documented it through the eyes of a fan. If you didn't, it may add to your regrets. Neither really matters because it's how you feel which comes first.

I'm speaking from experience when I say taking time away from something you care immensely about can be overwhelming, I have had low points and I regret battling through them without taking time to myself. Likewise, there have been times when I did take time and coming back felt much harder than going. I have mentioned how @GrannyPie had kept encouraging me to return to PON's social media. It felt difficult, as if I had to give answers, I really didn't. The issue is, what prompted my return wasn't right for me in the end. I needed to take further time off, including the site, just to re-find myself.

This isn't about me, however, I can draw comparisons and the point I am trying to make is you need to trust your own judgement.

You were pretty timid and reserved when I first met you, but I have seen you grow in confidence and flourish as a person. I know you have had many challenging moments, that's just what life throws at us. You will always be the same person, with or without your YouTube channel.

I meant what I said to you yesterday, I am always a message away, and you have never been a burden on me. I think you may want to take some time to think things over, maybe consider delaying your return to vlogging but only if it's unnecessary stress to you. Just remember the positives you get and outweigh things with how you feel. Your friends will still be there for you, just as I will be.

[liampie]

it must be very hard for you @ARLukomski, i dont think any decision will change the way fans feel about you. we will support you because that is what fans and friends should do. i dont like to think you are suffering from the stress involved with doing something you are obviously very good at doing. it must be very difficult but my opinion on if you should continue with youtube or not, it does mean anything.

since you joined pon, i have always watched your vlogs and i can honestly say its been nice to have something to relate too. all the difficult seasons we had and the promotion back to league two have been documented by you.

none of us would want you to force yourself to put them out but its about you knowing yourself. i wish you well and hope you find the right thing to do.

[TheSkipper]

Has the close and pre-season helped you at all?

Is it the process of filming and editing? Would focusing on the positive comments from viewers who enjoy your content help? You mentioned wanting to be good at something. When you think about being good at creating YouTube content, what does that look like to you? Is it about having the most views, or is it about creating something you're proud of and that resonates with your viewers? If you decided to take a break from YouTube, what other creative outlets might interest you? Could you find a way to keep creating content in a format that feels less pressured, like a blog or podcast?

You mentioned mental health being a concern. What steps could you take to make creating YouTube content a more positive experience for your mental well-being? Could setting a specific schedule or limiting the time you spend on editing and comments help?

These are questions that I think you may want to consider; I don't think you should be tormenting yourself over anything. It is normal to worry, but don't be harsh on yourself. I have always enjoyed reading your comments and watching your videos. The videos where you just talk about Notts are always on point. Maybe those types of videos would be a median between the vlogs?

Whatever you choose, I hope you find happiness and still feel part of the X community, along with PON.

[upthepies]

It's clear you're very passionate about your channel, and the fact you're reaching out shows how much thought you're putting into this. It's never easy to deal with mental health challenges, and sometimes stepping back to focus on yourself is the best move. You have a dedicated following who enjoys your content, and that won't change if you decide to pause for a bit. Maybe use this time to reassess what you want and need from this project. You'll have clarity and can decide if and when you wish to return. We’ll support you either way.

[NiftyNick]

Mate, don't be too hard on yourself. We all face tough times and it's okay to step back if you need to. Your channel has brought joy to many, including myself. Focus on your well-being, and when you're ready, we'll be here waiting.

[KingMaynard]

Just wanted to say @ARLukomski, I've always admired your dedication to your channel. It's real and relatable, which is why I watch. Do what feels right for you. If that means stepping back for a bit, then so be it. We'll be here if you decide to return. Take care!

[Countyman]

Your post touched me deeply @ARLukomski. I can see how much thought and emotion you’ve put into your YouTube channel.

It's completely normal to feel burnout, especially when you're putting so much of yourself out there. I agree with what others have mentioned about taking a break. Maybe a hiatus is what's needed for you to find that spark again.

You might come back with a fresh perspective and renewed energy. Remember, it's not about the quantity, but the quality and authenticity of your content. Your fans appreciate your genuine approach, and that’s what makes your channel special.

[CliftonMagpie]

It’s evident in your videos that you’re sometimes affected by your health issues, and I must admit, I’ve been worried since you mentioned your breathing problem. We’re all part of the Notts fan community, and you’re no different. If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me on Twitter or here.

I don’t mean to intrude, but it’s clear that you’re a good person with a deep love for Notts. Your content is a joy to consume, but please don’t stress over maintaining high standards.

Chasing perfection can lead to unhappiness, but if your viewers are enjoying your content, that’s a special achievement. I’ll be honest, I don’t follow many vloggers because I often find them uninteresting. But you’re different. You connect with people, sharing your insights and experiences as a fan. You have a balanced presence that never crosses the line. You may be known in the Notts community for your videos, but it’s you, the person behind the camera, that we connect with.

[gtownjohnno]

Definitely carry on but ease up on your prediction league results..... Gtownjohnno... 

[RetroPie]

I feel your struggle, @ARLukomski. Your post really highlights the toll this is taking on your mental health. It's a big decision to make, especially when it's something you've been dedicated to for so long. What stands out in your videos is your genuine love for Notts, and that's a big part of why people watch. Maybe taking a small break first could help clear your head? It could give you a new perspective on whether this is something you want to continue. Remember, it's not quitting, it's taking care of yourself. And in the end, you'll know if you really want to carry on or if it's time for a new chapter.

[menzinho]

I’m going to echo the sentiments of @Fan of Big Tone, it’s very decent that you’re thinking of those who watch the vlogs but I think ultimately your enjoyment is what’s most important.

I know the feeling of not feeling skilled or good enough when you’ve invested time and effort into something. And it is hard when you look at other people doing similar things, you do compare yourself against them. But ultimately, it’s not helpful or useful – everyone has a different skillset and everyone will create something different.

Focus on you, that is the only person you can compare yourself against. And actually, you don’t give yourself enough credit by saying you don’t feel you’re skilled or talented, because you are. I went back and looked at your first vlog and compared it to the Stockport one – I’ll tell you this now just 15 seconds in I saw a massive improvement, it was that obvious! Even if you don’t think you are, you are constantly learning and getting better. So don’t tell yourself you’re not good at it because you are.

In terms of offering some practical advice, whatever your first game is next season maybe just go to it with the sole purpose of watching Notts, then after it see how you feel. You might feel like you missed capturing the game, maybe you'll have enjoyed just watching it and want to take a break from vlogging. Whatever you choose to do is the right decision.

[allardyces tash]

Like everyone else, you’ve been a shining light in the Notts community, and it’s been a joy to watch your videos and read your posts. I don’t use Twitter, so I don’t see that aspect of your talent unless someone shares it, but I’ve always found you to be level-headed. Your insights into the club and vlogs are a real job, but my enjoyment of your content is secondary to your own happiness. You have to do what’s right for you, and as others have said, your audience, fans, and friends will support you no matter what you choose. The pressure of competing on YouTube is relentless, which is why I avoid social media. I find it unhealthy, but I do see the benefits of how people like you bring others together. You’ll have to ask yourself what feels best. @TheSkipper has asked every question one could think of, so consider those and make your decision. I wish you good health.

[NottsTastic]

As a Notts fan, and seeing you create Notts content as a fellow fan, I might be biased, but I believe your vlogs are top-notch. Some people make their content all about themselves, while others just grumble needlessly. You, on the other hand, have a genuine connection with the audience because you speak in front of the camera just like any fan would. Your content is passionate, occasionally raw, but always well-balanced. It would indeed be a pity if you decided to stop completely, but ultimately, the decision is yours.

[JustLikeJuve]

I used to watch your vlogs regularly and always found them worthwhile. I appreciate how you share your thoughts, explain Notts’ position, and cater to all fans, not just Notts supporters. Your approach is respectful, unlike some vloggers who seem to place their opinions above others. I slowed down on watching your vlogs, not because of you, but due to a lack of focused time. I prefer watching videos in a quiet place where I can absorb everything. Over the past couple of years, I’ve reduced my screen time significantly and barely watch YouTube. However, I must admit, when your videos appeared on the PON homepage, I found myself watching them more often, sometimes even breaking my own rules. The homepage provides a mini match report, which, coupled with your video, makes me feel like I haven’t missed anything if I couldn’t attend the game. I believe many fans would feel the same way. It would be a pity if your videos were to stop completely, but that’s your decision. Everything comes to an end eventually, that’s life. Your previous content will live on, and fans will appreciate your efforts despite your struggles. Keep your chin up, @ARLukomski.

[True Magpie]

While I don’t know you personally, I’ve read your content on x.com and watched your vlogs on YouTube. It was clear that Notts’ relegation weighed heavily on you, and during our time out of the EFL, it seemed to take a toll. Supporting any club is a rollercoaster ride, and your deep involvement is evident.

My advice would be not to make any decisions without careful thought, and to focus on your feelings. The responses here show how highly regarded you are. Sometimes we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves, and it’s easy to get sidetracked by social media.

Please prioritise your wellbeing. Mental health is crucial, and while your vlogs bring joy, they shouldn’t come at the expense of your happiness. I agree with others; your fans won’t mind, and if any do, that’s their problem. Anyone with sense would understand that committing to a season of editing, recording, and putting yourself out there is a long-term commitment, especially when you’re facing challenges.

Look after yourself first and foremost, take time to review, and avoid making hasty decisions.

[Blake]

Watching your videos is part of my routine. I'm sorry you are struggling and hope you get the support you need. Your vlogs are entertaining, and I see nothing wrong with them. You do a great job representing Notts and us fans. Go back and watch the video where you talk about Ruben Rodrigues knowing who you are and mentioning the vlogs, with Luke Williams whizzing around on an e-scooter. If that doesn’t show you how valuable your videos are, nothing will.

[themightymagpies]

I really get where you're coming from. It's evident that your YouTube channel has been a significant part of your life, and deciding whether to continue must be really tough. That balance between personal enjoyment and the pressure of content creation can be challenging. Perhaps giving yourself a break might be good. You could test the waters, step back for a bit, and see how you feel without the pressure.

If you miss it and feel motivated again, then return with a fresh mindset. Ultimately, it's about what makes you happy. Your genuine approach will be missed if you take a step back, but everyone's well-being should come first.

[OoooooTommy]

Hi @ARLukomski, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your journey with us. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your struggles. Your videos have always felt genuine and that's what makes them special. It's normal to feel under pressure, especially when comparing yourself to others. What matters most is your happiness and well-being. If doing these videos is no longer bringing you joy, maybe it's time to take a break. But remember, your worth isn't tied to your content, you have already achieved a lot! Whatever decision you make, just know that your supporters appreciate and care for you.

[eighteensixtytwo]

Your content has always resonated with me because it's honest and heartfelt. It sounds like you're going through a tough time, and it's admirable you're reaching out for support. Take the time you need to make the decision that's best for you. We're cheering for you @ARLukomski!

[BromPie]

I hear you, @ARLukomski. I think your honesty and authenticity are what make your channel special. If making videos feels like a burden, perhaps a break is necessary. Your health and happiness are more important. Whatever you decide, your true fans will support you.